Mid-morning snack: a Kinder egg and bliss chocolate egg. Oops.
Lunch: chicken and sauteed veggies
Dinner: romaine and spinach salad with grape tomatoes and feta cheese
Looking back, this weekend served as a little miniature vacation. I thought about school about 1.5% of the time and got to spend the rest of the time with family and friends. It was amazing. And then I got to school today.
Everyone was talking about projects and presentations and finals and clinic and I'm just over it. I don't want to think about this stuff anymore, much less talk about it. Dwelling on this stuff 24/7 is really stressing me out, and I'm sick of it. Hearing all the talk today caused me to have severe anxiety, and I just praise God that my kid cancelled at clinic because I couldn't stop shaking, feeling nauseated, and feeling dizzy. After I left, I got some errands taken care of for the bachelorette party, then went grocery shopping (finally). When I got home I cleaned out the fridge, took out the trash, put away the groceries, made my dinner, and made lunch for tomorrow. Now I'm taking a little break before getting started on my presentation due Thursday and filling out a take-home quiz for tomorrow. Getting things done and having a clean house has really helped calm me down, thank goodness.
It's been over a year since I had feelings like I had today... Feeling like I'm headed toward the wrong profession, that I've wasted everyone's time, like I'm wasting thousands of dollars on school. There's too much pressure. I want to be finished with this. I'm so tired of talking about projects. So tired of trying to block everyone out because otherwise I'll get overwhelmed. Thank God I had that break this weekend. And thank God there's only one more full week before finals. I don't know how much more of this I can take.
Waiting for my kid, before I found out he cancelled, all I could think in my head was Philippians 4:13... "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." I think this is going to have to be my mantra for the next two and a half weeks.