Thursday, April 7, 2011

Chaos

Day 95

Breakfast: eggs w/onion in between two pieces of toast w/fat free mayo
Mid-morning snack: banana, 3 funfetti cake mix cookies
Lunch: whole wheat pasta shells w/asparagus, marinara, feta and parmesan cheeses
Dinner: whole wheat pasta shells w/asparagus, marinara, feta and parmesan cheeses
Dessert: ?

The lunch and dinner I had today was just awesome. I got the recipe from another great blog I read. I wanted to save the last meal of leftovers for another lunch, but I couldn't resist eating it for dinner tonight. Yeah, it was that good. Highly recommended. (Note: this was my first time trying asparagus since childhood. It was a wonderful way to integrate it into my diet.)

I know this looks like a huge serving, but I promise it's an illusion.
Despite my [failing] efforts to remain positive today, I broke down about mid-morning. Forgive the scattered thoughts and too-many negative thoughts.

Thoughts of the Day:
  1. I am becoming exceedingly jealous recently. I don't know what sparked this change... I never used to feel like this this often, but lately.. I can't seem to shake feelings of envy. I'm not, by any means, upset that that person has the things I want and don't have; meaning... I don't wish that they didn't have them. I just want them, also. It bothers me. This has been happening when it comes to new homes, having babies, and being part of a close group of friends at school. 
  2. With regards to that last one... Let me say that I feel like I'm friends with every single person in my class. I have some relationship, be it big or small, with each one... And I am very thankful for that. I knew being one of the few coming from outside of OU that it would be harder to make friends. However, I didn't realize that making friends with everyone would somehow make me more outside the group, if that makes sense. We are all friends, and yet I'm not part of any group, necessarily. I probably put myself in this situation, and I really don't blame anyone. It's just been on my mind more, and especially today. 
  3. I did something this morning that I haven't done since junior high. Normally when I do laundry I air-dry all of my my one pair of jeans (forgive me for not having a larger wardrobe). However, the new pair of jeans I've been wearing have been getting looser, so I decided -- what the heck? -- and I dried the suckers in the dryer. And what do ya know... This morning when I put them on, they fit! It really is the little things, people... 
  4. My husband is my absolute best friend. He woke me up this morning with a text saying "So 11 months ago I said I do to a beautiful redhead." Yep, one month from today is our first anniversary. One month from today also marks the two years that we have been together. I know that I have gushed about how ridiculously happy I am to be Mrs. Rogers, so I'll keep this nice and short. I had a rough day, and when I came home he let me pout in bed while he rubbed my hair and told me he loved me. If it gets better than that, I know Braylen will be the one to reach the "better than that" with me. He is my sunshine.
I think I need some prayer, y'all. I'm trying to get better, but my mind is full of chaos. 

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Dear God, "Show me your ways, LORD, teach me your paths. Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long. (Psalm 25: 4-5)" Amen.

1 comment:

  1. YAY for throwing your pants in the drier!! That's amazingly awesome as it was not something you've done for years... and NOW YOU CAN!!!! =D
    Braylen is amazing, sweetie... but so are you. It's so easy to look around and see the green green grass of what others might have... but from in their shoes, their lawn is just as dusty as yours might seem sometimes.
    Don't forget to water it every once in a while, too!!! Pampering ourselves is always a worthwhile endeavor.
    All my love, Sweetie!!!!
    <3 <3 <3

    ReplyDelete

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