Wednesday, March 23, 2011


Day 80

Breakfast: NONE
Mid-afternoon snack: yogurt
Lunch: banana
Dinner: romaine and spinach salad with grape tomatoes, feta cheese, and honey mustard vinaigrette
Dessert: yogurt

Ever have one of those days when you just feel defeated? I think that's what's happening to me, except it's a whole semester. Today I have let myself get completely discouraged by everything going on. I feel like my life isn't life anymore. All I do is school. Seriously. It's not even a part of my life anymore.. It is my life. And I hate that. Particularly because I don't like school.

It. Feels. Never. Ending.

And I know that it will end, so then I just feel silly. It's just gotten a little overwhelming today. It would probably help if I was good at crying, but it takes months of buildup for me to have a good cry and I guess I just haven't gotten there yet. Things are bad when you want to cry and can't. 

Although it'd probably be worse if I wanted to stop crying and couldn't. 

Anyways, whatever. Tomorrow is a new day. Can't stop moving forward just because moving forward currently doesn't involve anything I enjoy. I know once this is over I will be able to do all the things I've wanted to do my entire life (be a better wife, have a baby [or two], take care of a beautiful home that I love, and spend time with the people who matter the most to me). I hate that for the next 1 1/2 years my friends and family who I love more than life will continue to be put on hold, but I know that when it's all said and done... This is what's best for everybody. Just having a hard time with that patience thing. 

I promise... I'm not a robot. I just happen to look and quack like one for the time being. 


Dear God, please help me. Amen.


  1. Oh my goodness I felt like that for the past year. Only my situation isn't with school but rather helping my friend out with her husband who was involved in an accident. I work 4 hours a day as his nurse to give her a break. Then I have my own full time job to do also. I feel like I nver have "me time" or time with my hubby. And to make matters worse we have been living with them for the past 6 months to help out with their kids too. But we've given up over a year now to putting them first. Now we're moving next month to our dream home on a lake. So I'm really looking forward to getting back to "me" and "us" with my hubby. And not too mention getting time to see friends and family more again. So I deff feel your pain. But your day will come too honey. And just know that you are doing WILL help make you and your husbands lives so much better! :)

  2. Praying for you girl! One of my friends told me something when I was down that really helped. She said find small things you can place throughout the day that you will be thankful for & delight in them. Example: if you have a favorite coffee cup or whatever make sure you use it a 8:30 each morning and try to look forward to that time. May sound silly but the handful of little things like that during the day makes it a lot easier to get through a hard time! :)

  3. As I read through your diet plans, i have noticed that you do not eat breakfast. I would like to point out that Breakfast is a very important meal of the day. You should think about implementing healthy things for breakfast. Even a banana would be good, some forms of cereal are healthy, and oatmeal is healthy. It actually can help out your metabolism to have breakfast. Just a suggestion


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