The Puppy Update Post

Okay, so I'm sure you all are dying to hear about how our puppies are doing (pahaha) so I thought I'd dedicate an entire post to my dogs.

(I'm just sayin' y'all... Wait 'til I have kids!)

Leia has been with us for a little over two months now and she's really such a joy! I couldn't have imagined a dog better-suited for our home. I always wanted a lapdog and, although Luke would love to be in our laps 24/7, he's just a wee bit big. Leia loves cuddling, which melts my heart, and she loves her big brother, which makes having her here that much more of a perfect fit. They really are an amazing pair.

So here's how it's going:

Leia is slowly but steadily picking up potty-training. Homegirl has to be on a set schedule or she has accidents. I forgot how tedious crate-training was but she's bringing it all back to us! Except I feel like with her it's harder because we like having her out with us to play with Luke (and, let's face it, to cuddle with me on the couch) and being out of the crate more = more accidents. But we're retraining ourselves to make more frequent trips to the yard for potty time and she's getting there. She definitely is exactly like Luke in that she goes potty almost immediately after getting to the yard. We don't have to wait around for her to go, which is lovely (especially now that it's getting colder!).

BDR took this picture shortly after she came to live with us. He took her out to potty and this is what she did instead. Such a silly girl!

We've been a little lackadaisical about trick training her, much more so than we were with Luke. By the time Luke was her age he could sit, speak, shake, lay down, and who knows what else. With Leia, we haven't been as on the ball so I'm trying to use this break from school as an opportunity to really pack in as much training as I can. We have only taken her on 3-4 walks on the leash. We use a leash every time we take her outside to potty, so she knows how to walk on one (although she does tend to pull when she's excited), but she hasn't had much experience going on walks around the neighborhood. I discovered recently on a walk with her and Luke that she is a barker. Dogs we pass behind fences in yards can bark at Luke 'til they're blue in the face and he'd never even look their way... That is not the case with Miss Leia Girl. She stops in her tracks, barks right back, and gives them what for! I will say, she does continue walking immediately after she gets a few barks out, but this is definitely something new for us because Luke never responded to dogs we pass. We also recently took her on a walk without Luke into town to see how she responded to passing cars and people walking around. She did very well and didn't seem insecure around the traffic or pedestrians, so that is nice. As far as tricks, she's still focusing on the basics (sit, stay, speak, shake, and down) and one that Luke never could get the hang of: roll over. Her and Luke pray together at every meal, not going towards their food bowls until we say "Amen" (I really should record that on video soon), and they sleep together every night in their crate.

They love cuddling together.

There was a pretty big halt in trick training Luke also. I don't think we'd taught him anything new since before he turned 1 (which was in May). My MIL bought us a book for Christmas called 101 Dog Tricks (by Kyra Sundance) which gives step-by-step descriptions with pictures on an insane amount of tricks. I've been dog-earing them (pardon the pun) so I can teach Luke and Leia as many as possible. So far, with Luke, we've worked on roll over again (which was a fail... again. Dude just doesn't like being on his back, and we're cool with that). We also have started work on "crawl" and having him tap which hand a treat is in with his paw. He is so incredibly smart... He was able to do both of them at least three times in one day! He really does pick up things fast... I hope his little sister is as quick to learn new things as he is! 

We are some proud parents, that's for sure. Our babies are pretty phenomenal, and they keep my heart happy and my mind busy until we're blessed with [human] babies of our own!

I mean, really, what's not to love?

Ch-ch-changes

I've made some changes to the blog. Edited my About Me (which hadn't been updated since I created the blog, oops). I still plan on tweaking things over the next couple of days (weeks?). Any/all suggestions are more than welcome! Anything missing from the page that would make it more accessible, more informative, more inviting? I'm open to any critiques/praise. I want to know what's working and what isn't.

The Fitbit Post

My lovely MIL got Husband and I each a Fitbit for Christmas.

Mine is plum and Husband's is blue.

I hadn't ever heard of such-gadget before, but I've been wearing it for the past two days and I'm pretty much falling in love with it. It's a little device you keep on you at all times (even while sleeping) and it tracks amazing things like calories burned, floors climbed, steps walked, level of activity exerted, efficiency of sleep, and several other things you can track on the accompanying website. Not that I'm a spokesperson for the product or anything, as I know there are several others out there that do the same thing. But I don't have all those other things, I just have this so it's all I can speak about. The only things I'm finding I don't care for about it are

1) you can't create recipes on the food tracker. You can make meals for one person and include all the ingredients, but you can't put in a whole meal for more than one person and then say I ate a single serving of this whole recipe (which is something I LOVE about myfitnesspal.com). So I'll probably wind up manually adding in the amount of calories per meal based on what MFP calculates. 

2) I wear mine in the center of my bra, between the cups, right against my sternum. It's comfortable at all times and completely discrete so I don't ever have to worry about it. I love that, but at the same time a) I'm worried that I'll forget to take it off when I do laundry, and b) since it has to charge on the charging dock, I have to remove it at some point and then I basically have to stay sedentary or my steps don't count. Not that's a huge thing (at all), I'm just saying.

And that's it. A whole two (minor) things. Other than those, so far I love it.

It keeps me motivated and encouraged to complete my steps. Although I haven't yet... Today it got me moving much more than yesterday to try to get 100%. Yesterday I only walked around my usual route with the dogs and did no more. Today I tried to be more active. BDR and I took Leia on a walk into town to go to the Pet Shop (which ended up being closed, ha) and then after he left for work I walked from my home to a main street I've never walked all the way to before for a total of 4.7 miles walked today (out of a goal of 5 miles). I'm happy with that. Part of me wants to go walk around the block to complete the whole 5 miles, but I think I'll wait and just push myself that much further tomorrow.

I'm also excited about another gift my MIL gave us for Christmas: a membership to the local YMCA. It's located only 5-6 blocks away from us so I can walk to/from for a warm up/cool down, which is really exciting to me. I haven't ever had a membership to an actual gym before (only Tan & Tone) so this will be new to me, but I'm eager to get started! They have racquetball courts which probably shouldn't make me as giddy as it does. When I was younger I played racquetball one time at a gym in Lawton and absolutely loved it. It may have just been the novelty of it, but I'm hoping it's something I can still enjoy doing because it's a great workout. Not to mention all the other equipment they have there... I'm ready to start now!

So things are looking up. I don't have my diet 100% (or even 95%) squared away, but I'm trying to take baby steps. I'm hoping that going into it one step at a time will help me create habits that stick.

I am so ready and excited to see what 2012 has in store for my family and I! So many things to look forward to!!

What are you looking the most forward to? Any resolutions you've set for yourself you want to attain? Any milestones or upcoming events that you are excited about?

'Night y'all!

The Retrospect Post

I began this blog on November 3, 2010. The anniversary of the beginning of the blog came and went during my hiatus and I didn't even realize. I just read what I posted a year ago this weekend and it's alarming how much hasn't changed, when I feel like so much has.

A year ago today I was blogging about the weekend. We had just gotten back from Husband's grandma's Christmas party and were going to his great grandma's party the following day. We were eating out for every meal (and not ordering anything healthy). We were watching tons of movies and TV and our sleep schedule was completely ridiculous. My weight was on the rise because I knew once the New Year came we were going to start the 17 Day Diet (which we began on January 3, 2010) so i was eating everything in sight.

Basically read over that entire paragraph again, change the verbs to present tense, and you'll get what I'm experiencing currently. This weekend we had Husband's family's Christmas parties. Our current shows are Friday Night Lights, Switched at Birth, The Cosby Show, and anything else I have recorded on DVR. We literally eat out at least one meal (usually two meals) every day, and I super-size everything available. I've done zero exercise and make every excuse in the book not to start. I've gained 20 lbs in the past nine weeks (not an amount I'm proud of, by any means, but honestly I expected it to be more).

Somewhere in my mind I'm justifying this over-indulgence because we plan to start Day 1 after New Years Day on the diet and exercise again. I know we can do it because we've done it before. However, I know we can fall out of it because obviously we've done that before, too. I think it's dawning on me that this will not be as cut and dry as I thought it would be a year ago.

A year ago I thought "Oh yeah, we're doing the 17 Day Diet and if I lose x lbs a month, I'll be at my goal weight in x months!" Yeah. It really hasn't happened that way. I made a goal 3-4 months ago that I would be under 200 lbs by New Years. Yesterday when I weighed I had gone back up to 255.6. Again, not as bad as I feared it would be, after having not weighed in in at least 6 weeks, but still a pretty colossal difference from where I was in October. And no where near under 200 lbs.

This is going to take me a long time. A lifetime. I will always struggle. I will always make mistakes. I will always have moments of weakness. I think what I need to focus on is that I will always keep trying. I will always start again. I will always have moments of strength.

Though I may not be strong every day, I may not always fight every temptation... I am striving toward something and I haven't given up.

So much can change (and stay the same) in a year. I am excited to see what 2012 has in store for my husband and me. Who knows what will have changed and what will be the same. I do know that, though I may not be at my goal weight, I will weigh less than I do today.

And I will be better than I am today. 

Nothing

Sometimes, it's just easier to blog than it is to try to deduce my thoughts down to a FB status update.

I don't know where to begin.

Well, I took another pregnancy test this morning. Negative, of course. And I continued with my day. Honestly, didn't even think about it much. For 12+ hours. Then tonight, as I was getting ready for bed... I sat down on the floor to play with my puppies for a bit before putting them in their beds. I was sitting on the floor, petting them, and they ran off into another room, leaving me in the bedroom. For some reason, it hit me in a rush. Nothing triggered it. I just... Didn't want to get up. I didn't want to do anything. Talk to anyone, close my eyes, move... Nothing. I just sat there. I didn't know what to do.

We bought a copy of What to Expect When You're Expecting a couple of months ago at a garage sale and I've skimmed through the first 2-3 chapters several times since then. I picked it up again tonight (as I do most nights) and was reading over several pages but had to put it down. It hit me suddenly that none of it applies to me. Even the preconception aspects. Taking pregnancy tests is a joke. I have only had one period in the past 21 months, and that was back in February. (This halt in menstruation was due to birth control)

It is a joke to continue taking pregnancy tests. Hell, I can't even use the ovulation strips I bought. None of it applies to me because my body doesn't work yet. I keep hoping that something will happen, despite every bit of knowledge I have that screams otherwise, and I need to just come to grips with it.

It's hilarious... You take birth control and are scared for years hoping to not get pregnant. Now that it's finally a possibility... What? Nothing?

Sometimes, I just want a good cry. The kind of cry that leaves you sobbing and snotty and looking like a fool. I don't cry like that anymore. I don't know why, it just doesn't come out. Tonight, I want to cry and... Nothing.

I promise I am not as mopey and outrageously out of proportion in real life (all of the time). I just need an outlet. I know my life is wonderful. I know our time will come, and that if it doesn't come it only means God has different plans for us. I know that we've only been "trying" for a short time and many people try for years and sadly never get positive results. I am incredibly selfish and have no room for complaint. I apologize if I've offended or upset anyone by this post. I should highlight it and delete it all, and maybe I will tomorrow.

But I needed something tonight.

The Lazy Days Post

Tomorrow I take my one and only final for this (last) Fall semester. After making an awful grade on the midterm (I'm talking failing status), I've really tried to kick my butt in gear the second half of the semester. I've gotta say, I'm pretty proud of myself. I don't think I've ever taken this good of notes in this particular professor's classes.. Or studied this much. I'm not going to make a 100%, by any means.. But I hope to at least make a B! We'll see. Pray for me!

The past few days at home have been uncharacteristically relaxed (aka lazy). I've only left the house to get food, and haven't driven out of town since I got home from school on Thursday. Which mean, it's been almost a whole week since I've been on a highway. I can sincerely say that this is probably the longest I've ever gone without having to go out of town since I've been in graduate school. It just dawned on me, too... But I've been able to tell a difference. I love staying home, I really do. The only problem I'm finding is that the longer I stay home, the more my desire to leave the house decreases. I don't want to go anywhere because staying home feels so nice! I know once I have babies and have to stay home, I'll probably be itching to leave, but right now when my only obligation is studying for one final... It feels good to stay up til 3, sleep in til 12:30... And not have any guilt about it. I know I should probably feel embarrassed to admit that sleep schedule and I guess a part of me does... But an even bigger part of me appreciates the fact that staying up and sleeping in that late is the only way I can talk to and share sleep-time with my husband. For now, this is working for us.

Now, it'll be a different story once we both start back to class schedules. But for now, yeah... I'm not gonna feel ashamed!

I love being at home during the day for another reason, also... I get to be here when the UPS man comes and brings more items we've ordered! In the past few days we've received a copy of The King's Speech (that I bought on Cyber Monday from Target.com for $7.99!!), a new peacoat for me (!!), and a mystery package from Macy's that I'm not allowed to open (!!!!!!!). I'm still waiting on our Christmas cards, a "conception kit" (15 ovulation strips and 5 pregnancy tests, all for $16.95!), and one of my lovely husband's Christmas gifts to come in... Any day now!

I just love getting stuff in the mail. Feels like Christmas every day!

Night y'all!

The Made Post

How many of you have watched MTV's show "Made"?

I used to watch it constantly when I was in high school, and have recently added it to my DVR list. Like so many other "transformation" shows I'm obsessed with ("Heavy", "Biggest Loser", "I Used to be Fat", "Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition", etc.) it always gives me a sense of curiosity, motivation, and determination. "Made", in particular, begs the question... What would I be "made" to be, if given the opportunity?

I think, if expense was no issue and resources were readily available (trainer, facilities, materials, etc.) I would want to be made into a marathon runner. (Runner friends, is there a term for that?) I've always been amazed at my friends and family who participate in 5k's and marathons. It takes so much dedication, training, and skill. I've never (never ever ever) been a runner or at all enjoyed running. Having a trainer to teach me correct breathing patterns and to push me further than I push myself would be amazing. This may sound strange but a recurring theme in my dreams (this happens when I dream at least once a week) is that I run from one place to another. In my dream, it's always so easy... My chest never hurts, my knees never hurt, my feet never hurt... And it always feels like second nature. When I wake up from these dreams, I feel like I could run for miles. I feel like I want to run for miles. And then I really wake up and realize that it's not a possibility for me in the condition my lungs and body are in right now. To have someone recondition my body and teach me how to experience that freeing, conquer-the-world feeling I get in my dreams would be unbelievable. Maybe one day our budget will allow for me to have a personal trainer.

What do you want to be "made" into?

The "Have a Little Faith" Post

I recorded a movie on ABC a week ago called "Have a Little Faith". There was an episode of Dr. Phil about it and it looked interesting, so I DVR'd it. I finally got around to watching it tonight and was really impressed. Well, impressed doesn't seem like the right word. Ya know those moments of conviction, as a Christian (or probably a person of any religion) when God speaks when you didn't even know you should be listening? That's what I loved about this movie. Rabbi Louis was (and is, even in death) an inspirational man. At the beginning of the movie, Mitch Albom (author of the best-sellers Tuesdays With Morrie, 5 People You Meet in Heaven, and For One More Day) is asked by his childhood rabbi, Albert Louis, to give a eulogy at his funeral upon his death. This prompts years of visits between the author and rabbi so Albom can get to know the person he will be speaking about. My favorite parts of the movie are these visits. Rabbi Louis has a light-hearted and warm spirit and the way he explains his beliefs are so eloquent and simple (sound familiar?). Here is an example:

(As Rabbi Albert Louis and Mitch Albom pass a Hindu woman in the grocery store, she waves and says, "Hello, Rabbi.")

Louis: Nice young woman. Hindu. Fascinating religion. Such customs.
Albom: Aren't you supposed to cheerlead your own religion?
Louis: OUR own religion. I do. I think ours is an infinitely beautiful faith.
Albom: Well, if our religion is so special, how can you be supportive of others?
Louis: Did God make trees?
Albom: What?
Louis: Did God make trees?
Albom: Yeah.
Louis: Why trees? Why not a tree? I mean, he's God. What He makes is perfect, so why not one perfect tree for the whole earth? Instead, he gave us the oak, the spruce, the elm, the redwood. So maybe faith is the same: Many trees, the branches all going to him. 
Albom: Have you looked at the world lately? The trees are attacking each other.
Louis: That's not faith. That's hate.
Albom: Engaged in the name of religion.
Louis: And wrongly. "Thou shalt not kill." "Honor thy neighbor." If I mean these things and the other guy means these things... What do ya get?
Albom: Peace on Earth.

Just a little something to think about, as we go into this holiday season.

Night y'all!

P.S. I highly recommend finding a way to see this movie, and I fully intend on purchasing and reading Mitch Albom's book Have a Little Faith, upon which the movie is based.

The First Last Day

Sigh... Completed my last day of fall semester class/clinic EVER. Feels so good to mark these "lasts" off the list. Can't wait for my very LAST day of class coming up this Spring, but I guess I'll just have to enjoy every moment until then. Have two really great clinical rotations lined up before graduation and I can't wait to experience what both sites have to offer! With each location I go through I've gained more and more experience and my interest and excitement for this field has grown exponentially--particularly in the past 16 weeks. I've learned even more what I dislike and more importantly what I love about speech-language pathology and am so thankful for the opportunities I've been blessed with. The clients I've seen have taught me so much and my supervisors (undergrad, grad, and rotation supervisors) have been unbelievably helpful and supportive. I can't say there aren't still moments when I think "What the heck have I gotten myself into?" but for the most part, I am [finally] so excited to find a job I love... And finally make some real $$$$!

And on that note, I will leave you with this little morsel of heaven:

Yes, that is my puppy... Sleeping on my face. My little nap time guard pup. 

Night y'all!

The Confessions Post

So I have a few confessions to share with you all... 

You all could have probably guessed by now that I stepped off the "diet" train. Since my Biggest Loser group ended, my healthy diet/exercise plan has gone down the toilet. I haven't weighed in because I'm afraid of how much I've gained. Fortunately, my clothes still fit (although my waist band does feel more snug). But I can feel the changes. My tummy has grown and always feels bloated and I can feel the extra weight on my rear and thighs protest when I run. Sorry for the details, but I need to remember what one month of eating crap does to me. Going out to eat every day, eating bigger proportions than I think I've ever managed in my life... My food addiction has come back full force. I don't have an excuse, and I know I need to make a change. I'm not that far away from where I was. Like I said, I haven't weighed in so I don't know how much I've gained, but I kind of like the idea of judging where I'm at based on how I feel. I know it would only take a week or two for my body to feel better. Right now I'm exhausted all the time and it can only be because I'm malnourished (since we all know it's not cos I'm pregnant!). I haven't been drinking the right amount of water and definitely haven't been eating fruits and vegetables. It's nuts how easy it is to get off track.

Husband and I are going grocery shopping this weekend to stock up the fridge and pantry again. We'd do it now, but we're low on funds and need to wait until after payday. We aren't going to follow the 17 Day Diet to a point like before until after the new year, but we need to start eating at home more instead of going out.

I'm hoping that will get us started in the right direction. Now that the cat's out of the bag and everyone knows we're hoping to have a baby soon, I can be honest in saying one of my main goals for losing weight is to decrease risks of complications during pregnancy/delivery and being altogether healthier for our child. Not to mention I want people to know I'm pregnant, not just think I'm a big girl (which is true, but I'm just sayin'..). Superficial, but oh well! I want it all and if I'm willing to work for it, I think I should get it.

Speaking of working for it, did anybody else see the episode of Dr. Phil talking about the P.I.N.K. Method? Last year he was endorsing the 17 Day Diet and that's how we got hooked on it and now he's doing this new one and I'm wondering.. Is this typical? Does he do a new one every year? I looked into the PINK Method cos it sounds pretty great (and similar to 17 Day Diet) but it's WAYYYYYYY more expensive so I don't think that's happening for us. Anyways, just curious if anyone else saw it.

By the way, I was really overwhelmed with the number of comments I got regarding the last post. I was sure I lost all of you readers due to my lack of posting as of late... It's so wonderful to feel so supported. I need to step up my game, return the favor, and start commenting again. I've been very selfish lately because I needed to figure out a few things, but I'm back and ready to dive into the blogosphere again! =]

Night y'all!

The Single Line Post

It's hard to know where to start. It's been nearly two months since I've written anything so there's a lot I could catch you up on.

We have a new baby in our lives, as of October 22nd. She was born on August 8th and is now 17 weeks old. Her name is Leia. Her and Luke get along beautifully, and we couldn't have chosen a more perfect little one to add to our family. She's such a joy.

Probably the biggest change in our life has been something we've kept more private. Over the past couple of months, we've been talking and praying with one another about starting a family. Well, a family in addition to our puppies, that is.

We decided that I would stop getting my birth control shot and have not been using any type of birth control since September. It is something we have talked with one another about for several months now and decided that now is the right time. Were we to become pregnant now, both of us would be graduated and into careers. We decided from the beginning that choosing to not take birth control doesn't mean that we're "trying", because we don't want to put that kind of pressure on ovulation schedules and things like that. We wanted to relieve the pressure of NOT getting pregnant. That's always been the goal: "Well, we can't get pregnant now because the time isn't right". Now, since we're not taking BC to stop a pregnancy, whenever the time is right, God will bless us with a child.

I try so hard to maintain that attitude.

But for the past six days I've been feeling nauseous sporadically throughout the day (Note: I haven't thrown up since elementary school, so nausea isn't something that happens to me often). I've been smelling things I normally wouldn't smell. I just have this feeling. And that's silly to say because I don't know what it feels like to be pregnant. But it just felt real this time.

And then a single line appeared on the test.

I try so hard to maintain that attitude. I know God's timing is better than my own. I just feel like everything I've been experiencing for the past six days and the "feeling" I had was in my head. And that scares me. I feel like when/if I ever am pregnant, I won't believe it. I don't know how many pregnancy tests I've taken, all with a negative result. We wanted to wait until Friday to take it, but I couldn't wait anymore because of all the "symptoms" and the feeling I've had lately. At the same time, I procrastinated doing it this morning because I was afraid it would be negative. And then it was.

I shouldn't complain because I know some people try for years and are never able to conceive. I am just fearful that that could be us. It's hard for me to admit that, because we will be happy with or without children and I'm being selfish.

It was just a hard day, and tomorrow will be better.

The I'm Still Standing Post

Breakfast: yogurt
Lunch: 12" turkey sub on wheat w/spinach, provolone cheese, black olives, and fat free sweet onion dressing from Subway; Southwest Ranch Baked Lays
Snack: apple
Dinner: 2 turkey patties w/fat free American cheese; sauteed veggies
Exercise: 60 modified burpees; several reps of multiple arm and pec exercises; 15 mins pilates dance workout; 0.60 mi walk/jog
Snack: TBA

I know I haven't written every day and it's been quite a while, but I've been trying to keep up with posting my food on most days. If you're interested in knowing what I'm eating every day or more specifically what brands I'm eating... Add me on myfitnesspal.com... kayciechristine is my username.

Life has been pretty wonderful, as of late. I've been busy pretty much constantly (which isn't so wonderful) between interning 4 days of the week, going to class 2 days of the week, Zumba at least once a week, walking whenever I can, and on top of that squeezing in time with Husband and the pooch. I've gotta say, though, that even though my days have been abnormally hectic this semester, I am feeling happier than I have in quite a while. I'm sure it's probably a combination of a variety of things, so I can't pinpoint it to just one.

• I finally feel like the friendships I am maintaining right now are solid and will last a lifetime. For now I'm choosing to focus on the people who bring positivity in my life and distance myself from those who will bring me down. That being said, I pinned a quote earlier that I thought fit my situation perfectly. It said, 
• My weight loss is slowly but steadily on the right track, once again. This past Friday at weigh-in, I had finally reached and gone just passed my lowest weight since beginning this journey: 235.4 lbs. It feels good to be back to where I was before I gained back 15 lbs over the last few months. It's all forward movement from here! I'm purposefully moving, staying mostly on track with my diet, and finding motivation in a variety of people and places. I have been truly blessed by all of the support that's been given to me. 
• My home is clean. I know this is a silly thing to rejoice, but since we moved here and I've been in grad school, maintaining a household has been the furthest thing on my list of priorities. About two months ago I had a meltdown and we decided to quite neglecting this home we've been blessed with and start taking care of it more thoroughly. We made chore sheets and decided to each clean for at least 15 minutes every day. Well, that lasted about a week, ha. But ever since then we've both kept up our ends of the deal: He cleans the kitchen and maintains the basement and yard and I make sure the living room, dining room, bathroom, and bedroom stay clean. I don't know why it took us so long to figure this out, but it's heaven. Also, last week we found a portable dishwasher at a yard sale for ten dollars. No, I'm not kidding. So, of course, we bought it... And it has made cleaning the kitchen so much easier. I don't know how we went so long without one, but this is wonderful. 

Okay, so it sounds kinda boring when I type it out, but it makes me happy so I can't complain.Thanks for stickin' with me on this crazy journey and for inspiring and encouraging me along the way. I know I wouldn't be 55 lbs lighter right now without all of your support!

'Night y'all!

Day 280

Breakfast: 4 egg whites w/onion; 3 strips of turkey bacon; yogurt
Lunch: salad w/black olives and diced turkey; cucumber salad; grapes and apples
Snack: black bean brownie
Dinner: turkey chili
Snack: 2 black bean brownies cut and mixed with strawberry shortcake Skinny Cow ice cream sandwich
Exercise: 30 modified burpees; several reps of arm and pectoral exercises

Day 274

Breakfast: 4 egg whites w/onion; 2 sausage links; yogurt; black bean brownie
Lunch: salad, broccoli cole slaw, carrots slices w/BLT dip, veggie pizza, 2 cookies, and strawberry/pretzel dessert
Dinner: NONE
Exercise: 56 min Zumba
Snack: yogurt

Day 273

Breakfast: black bean brownie; 4 eggs w/onion and 3 strips of bacon; yogurt
Lunch: salad w/shredded turkey, honeydew melon, strawberries, grapes, and apple
Dinner: black bean turkey chili
Dessert: black bean brownie
Exercise: NONE

Day 272

Breakfast: yogurt
Snack: heath/reese's mix from Braum's
Lunch: 2 turkey patties w/fat free American slices; mixed vegetables
Snack: banana
Dinner: 6" turkey on wheat w/spinach leaves, lettuce, black olives, and sweet onion sauce from Subway with baked Lay's southwestern ranch chips
Exercise: 1.15 mi walk (30 mins)

Day 269

Breakfast: 4 egg whites w/onion and feta cheese; 2 smoked turkey sausages; yogurt
Lunch: salad w/grilled chicken and a hard-boiled egg; ~10 baby carrots; 1 sliced apple
Exercise: 58 mins Zumba
Snack: yogurt
Exercise: 27 push-ups; 15 sit-ups

Weigh-in's tomorrow and I'm feeling good!

The Take a Look in the Mirror Post

Breakfast: yogurt and red Rome apple
Lunch: 2 turkey patties w/fat free American cheese and sauteed mixed veggies
Snack: ~15 baby carrots
Dinner: chopped Romaine w/chopped pear, dried cranberries, feta cheese, and red wine vinaigrette
Exercise: 1.25mi walk (40mins)
Snack: yogurt

I've really been feeling good lately about the progress I've been making. I hate it when people excessively toot their own horn, but I think sometimes you have to take a minute to appreciate your hard work. It builds up your self-esteem and self-worth and ultimately, I think, gets you to your goal. If you never appreciate where you were and how far you've come, and never allow yourself that satisfaction... I would think it would make it a lot harder to continue on for more progress.

Lately I've been allowing myself more and more to admit to myself when I think I look pretty. It sounds strange and conceded, but don't we all want to feel beautiful? Lately I've been able to look in the mirror and think "Hm. I look gorgeous right now." Even when I have no makeup on and my hair's a mess. That is a revelation.

It has made me come to realize that although we may not love everything we see when we look in the mirror, there are things about each and every one of us that are beautiful. I've decided that from now on I need to keep those attributes at the forefront of my thoughts from now on when I look at myself. My hope is that you can find the things you feel are beautiful about yourself and never forget about them (even when the scale doesn't come out in your favor). I wouldn't ask you to do something I'm not willing to do, so I'm going to share my list with you...

Five Things I Find Beautiful About My Body

1. My hair. Of course this is #1 for me. I've never had to do anything to it and it's always pretty just the way it is. It is the one thing on my body that I can always count on and I've never had any desire to change. Maybe this is an exaggeration, but I am blessed to have my hair. 
2. My proportions. I don't carry all of my weight in one area like so many women unfortunately do. I am overweight and I have lots of extra fat on my body, but it's spread out proportionately so in some ways I don't feel like I look as heavy as I actually am. 
3. My freckles. These are a new treasure I've come to appreciate. For so long I wanted them gone and now I'm finding they can work to my advantage. Blemishes are harder to spot on a freckled face and I feel like they'll keep me looking young for many years to come.
4. My waist. Another new appreciation. I'm growing to love my waist more and more as it's starting to appear underneath all the extra baggage I'd been carrying around. I absolutely love it when my husband hugs me and his arms can squeeze a little tighter. 
5. My thighs. Okay. This one is going to take some time to adjust to. I don't love them all of the time. Let me explain. I have large thighs. I always have. However, as the weight is coming off I'm realizing just how powerful my thighs are. They are much stronger than I ever realized under all that extra stuff. No, they're not up to carrying all my weight around in a marathon or anything... But I can work the heck out of them on a bike machine and really see/feel them getting stronger. Because it's hard to look down and actually see my waist, stomach, or arms getting smaller... I really enjoy looking down at my thighs and seeing them shedding the weight.

Good to see you, waist!

I challenge you to find five things about your body that you think are beautiful. Commit to complimenting yourself on at least one of them per day. See if/how your attitude and self-confidence improves.

Day 267

Breakfast: 4 egg whites w/onion and feta cheese, 3 strips of bacon, and a yogurt
Lunch: salad w/Italian dressing; honeydew melon and grapes; grilled chicken, green beans, and a dinner roll
Snack: ~30 baby carrots
Exercise: 55min Zumba
Dinner: black bean turkey chili

The Thank You Post

Breakfast: 4 egg whites; 1 strip turkey bacon; 1 piece turkey sausage; yogurt
Lunch: salad w/hard boiled egg; honeydew melon and grapes; chocolate milk
Dinner: black bean turkey chili
Dessert: NONE
Exercise: 1.25 mi walk (28mins)

Can I just say how much I love having supportive friends and family? Without a doubt I know I wouldn't be where I am on this weight loss journey without their accountability and understanding. I'm reminded more and more about this every day -- Whether it be by our parents cooking special meals to suit our diets or it be a good friend agreeing to text pictures of our meals each day to keep us accountable -- I have an amazing support system. And that's not even mentioning all the support I get from Braylen. Good grief, he eats anything and everything we've cooked for this diet plan, never complains, and actually likes it! He's never argued or griped about not eating the things we want, and he encourages me when I text him when I'm having a craving. I could go on and on about all of the various ways you all have helped me in the past 9 months, but I'll just sum it up and say... Thank you. From the bottom of my heart, I will never forget all of the words of encouragement, hard truths, and sacrifices you all have made to help me along the way. Thank you so much. I can't wait to get to the end result to show you what all that prayer was for.

Thank you!

Day 265

Breakfast: 4 egg whites w/onion; 3 strips of bacon; yogurt
Snack: golden delicious apple and a banana
Lunch: stir-fried chicken and veggies with 1/2 cup brown rice
Dinner: chopped Romaine w/chopped pear, dried cranberries, feta cheese, and red wine vinaigrette
Dessert: banana ice cream: frozen banana pureed w/1 tbsp honey and 1 tbsp raspberry Kefir
Exercise: TBA

The Onion Post

Breakfast: yogurt and banana
Snack: golden delicious apple
Lunch: 2 turkey patties w/fat free American cheese, corn, and blackeye peas
Dinner: Chinese food (fried rice, various meats, lo mein)
Exercise: 1/4 mi walk, 30 mins pilates, 15 push-ups, 40 arm curls

Since we started this diet, my love for onions has grown exponentially. They add so much amazing flavor to every meal and are so easy to prepare. We put them in everything, from eggs to salads to mixed vegetable stir-fries to pot roast to, well, just sauteed onions as a side dish. I buy a bag of onions every week and we still somehow manage to run out before the next grocery run. It's gotten to the point where the smell of the onions I cut in the morning for my eggs sticks on my hands all day... And the smell comforts me. I know that sounds sick, but I just have grown to love them so much. 

Today I've been thinking about the cliche metaphor of peeling back layers of yourself like peeling off the layers of an onion. I mean, we've all seen Shrek, right? You know what I'm talking about. I'm realizing more and more the symbolism between onions and weight loss. 

Okay, bear with me. This might not be a good post to read if you've never visited my blog before. Cos it's about to get strange. 

Onions are really ugly on the outside. Kind of like how I felt about myself before I started this weight loss journey. Not necessarily that I was ugly... But what I was doing to my body and how I thought about food was just that: Ugly. The outside of an onion is garbage. It needs to be removed so you can utilize the good stuff underneath. It's kind of like a protective layer for what's hiding inside. Almost like how I was using this extra weight as a guard so that I didn't have to deal with why I was gaining weight. Why I was mistreating my body. Why I wasn't living to my full potential. Why I ate uncontrollably, even when I was full. The outside wall I built up was garbage, and I needed to throw it out so I could utilize all the good stuff I have inside.

Little by little that outside layer is coming off. It's not completely gone. I still have lapses in judgment when I forget what my goal is and that layer sticks on a little longer. As the layers fall away, though, and as the weight comes off, I pray that I get to know and love myself that much more. I pray that through the struggles and victories I face over the next months and years of my recovery from this addiction I can pull myself closer to God. I know that it is His strength I have to rely on to pull that layer off completely. Because he knows about all the good stuff I've got hiding underneath and I know He's ready for me to use it.

Here's to pulling off another layer...

Day 263

Breakfast: 4 egg whites w/onion; yogurt
Lunch: salad w/chicken, hard-boiled egg, and honey mustard dressing; chicken stir-fry; grapes and apple slices
Snack: banana
Dinner: leftover pork tenderloin w/sauteed veggies
Snack: yogurt
Exercise: NONE

Day 261

Breakfast: yogurt
Lunch: taco salad (shredded lettuce w/ground turkey in taco seasoning, salsa, and cheese)
Dinner: pork tenderloin w/onion, carrots, and 1/2 cup brown rice
Dessert: yogurt
Exercise: TBA

The Feeling Sassy Post

Breakfast: 4 egg whites w/onion; 3 strips of turkey bacon; yogurt
Lunch: oven-roasted chicken w/steamed veggies, chili, and 2 rolls w/cinnamon butter from TX Roadhouse
Dinner: black bean turkey chili
Dessert: yogurt
Exercise: 2 mile walk

Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!! I'm feelin' kinda good this weekend. I've lost 12 lbs in the past two weeks, and I still feel like I've got more in me to lose big. I went out to eat with my parents this afternoon because it's my dad's birthday, but I feel like I did well, despite the two rolls w/butter. I'm still way under my calorie count for the day and feel really good about it!

Feel kind of sassy sans double chin and extra baggage. 

Think I'll keep goin', ya know? 

Under 200 by New Years or bust! 

'Night y'all!

What's your next short term goal?

The NSV Post

Breakfast: 4 egg whites, onion, and 3 strips of turkey bacon; yogurt
Snack: cameo apple
Lunch: 2 turkey patties w/fat free American cheese; sauteed mixed veggies
Dinner: chopped Romaine w/pear, dried cranberries, onion, grape tomatoes, and reduced fat red wine vinaigrette
Dessert: TBA
Exercise: NONE

Our lunch this afternoon. I am loving turkey burgers more and more these days.

I have heard people use the term "NSV" before, and never was quite sure what it meant. As I usually do when I don't know what an acronym means, I made something up. In my head, NSV has always meant No Small Victory. Something happened this evening that I knew was a NSV, but I wanted to verify what it meant before I told you about it. As it turns out, or at least what urbandictionary.com says, NSV actually means a Non-Scale Victory. I'll probably always keep No Small Victory in my head, but truly it's the same thing to me anyways...

I have to share this NSV with you. This evening I was sitting on the couch after my husband left, just watching TV. All the sudden a huge craving took me over and I wanted whatever I could get. First I thought Braums would be good, but then I thought about going to get a bag of chips or something from the gas station. I texted BDR and told him what I was feeling and how strong the craving was and he reminded me that I didn't want to do that. I argued with him that the Braums burger and fries actually fit within my allowed calories for the day and didn't put me over, but he nicely said despite that all the fat in it is still bad for me. So I decided to just stay home and not even introduce the temptation as an option (a NSV all its own).

But then I remembered I needed to go to the grocery store for something that has to be made for tomorrow. So I panicked. I called Braylen and told him and he said to just go straight to the local grocery store that's about five blocks from our house. I said I'm going to get a snack because after losing 12 lbs in two weeks I deserve one. (Isn't that so backwards? I lost weight, so now let me "reward" myself by giving into what got me overweight in the first place. Sigh...)

So I got to the store and headed straight for the snack/chips aisle. I looked through the cookies, chips, and candy.. Comparing calorie counts and weighing out in my head how much of what I decided to get I could have. And then, it occurred to me.

I. Don't. Want. It.

These two thoughts crossed my head: 1) I'm wearing jeans that haven't fit me in months because of good choices I've made recently, and 2) I can go home and devour an entire bag of baby carrots if I want and get my "binge" out that way... And be completely healthy.

Because when I get right down to it... It's not the food itself that I want. It's the eating. And the eating in large amounts. I overdo it, and I know that I do. But tonight when I felt the urge to overdo it, I thought in my mind that I will be just as satisfied (and, in fact, even more so because I won't feel any guilt) if I binge on carrots rather than an entire bag of chips.

I'm telling you it's the little things sometimes...

What's your latest NSV?

The Cauliflower Pizza Post

Breakfast: 4 egg whites; 1 turkey sausage link; 1 strip of turkey bacon; yogurt (totaling 336 calories, btw)
Lunch: salad w/hard boiled egg and catalina dressing; cantaloupe and grapes
Dinner: Cauliflower Pizza
Dessert: popcorn and a Braums Heath mix
Exercise: NONE

Source: eat-drink-smile.com via Kaycie on Pinterest

Again, Pinterest has inspired me to try something I would've never known about otherwise. There was a recipe from eat. drink. smile. that I knew I had to try ASAP. It's basically pizza with a cauliflower crust. Sounded just interesting enough to be amazing. So here's the deal:

The recipe calls for:

• 1 cup cooked, riced cauliflower
• 1 cup shredded mozzarella cheese
• 1 egg, beaten
• 1 tsp dried oregano
• 1/2 tsp crushed garlic
• 1/2 tsp garlic salt
• olive oil (optional)
• pizza sauce, shredded cheese and your choice of toppings

But I used:

• 2 cups cooked, riced cauliflower
• 2 cups shredded mozzarella cheese
• 1/2 cup Parmesan cheese
• 1 egg, beaten
• Oregano, garlic powder, and Italian seasoning
• Olive oil spray
• Prego Veggie Smart pizza sauce

According to myfitnesspal, all of my ingredients combined equals 325 calories, which I'm totally happy with. So here's how to make it:

Step 1: Employ two assistants to keep you company while you cut and rice the cauliflower in the food processor.

Step 2: Ya know... Break apart the cauliflower into small pieces so you can rice it in the food processor. Oh, and preheat the oven to 450 degrees.

I did 3 cups cos I was confused by the way the recipe was worded... cos I'm not intelligent. But I only used 2 cups tonight and put the third in the fridge for later.

Step 3: In a medium bowl, mix the riced cauliflower with the mozzarella, egg, and seasonings. I did not take a picture of this, because you can probably imagine it already. And I forgot.

Step 4: After spraying the pizza pan with olive oil (which I neglected to do the first time around because, like I said, I'm not intelligent) pour and form the pizza into... a... crust?

Ta-da! Crust.

Step 5: Spray it with olive oil spray (or brush it with olive oil, as the original recipe says) and bake it for 15 minutes.

Step 6: Put some sauce and cheese on top and whatever toppings you want, then broil it for 3-4 minutes to melt the cheese. Keep in mind that any toppings you want need to be pre-cooked because they'll only be in the oven a few minutes during this time. We didn't want anything but sauce and cheese, so it was simple.

Voila!

Step 7: I let it sit another 7-10 minutes so it would cool and harden a bit more. It wasn't crispy like a regular crust would be, but it was most definitely something we both enjoyed and will be making again. 

I mean... Yum, right?

Anyways, that's my story and I'm stickin' to it. Go to the link to find original recipe and directions and yours will probably turn out even better than mine!

Oh... Weigh-in was today and I lost another 3.8 lbs! Putting me at 238.8 lbs... Out of the 240's once and for all! Very excited about that! 

Hope you all have an amazing weekend! 

'Night y'all!

Getting Better All the Time

Breakfast: strawberry Kefir smoothie
Lunch: salad w/cucumber, tomato, hard-boiled egg; honeydew melon and grapes
Dinner: chopped Romaine w/grape tomatoes, dried cranberries, chopped pear, feta cheese, and poppy seed dressing
Dessert: yogurt
Exercise: NONE

Skipped everything exercise-related today... Whoops!

Sorry that my updates have been so short lately, if at all. My days are full and when I get some down time in the late evening, it honestly slips my mind. Or rather, I have nothing left on my mind to share with you. I will say that tomorrow is weigh-in time again, and I'm excited about this one, as well! Not as excited as I was last week because I know it won't be as big of a loss... But I know it will be a loss and that's something to get excited about! I'll fill you in on that tomorrow or this weekend.

We switch to the next cycle in the diet this weekend and, man, am I looking forward to it! Adds a little bit more variety to the kinds of carbs and proteins we are allowed. Yum yum!

Ya know, I just wanna say... I am truly happy with myself and where my life is headed. I am proud that I've stuck with this for so long and am able to see changes once again. I am happy that my body is getting back into the swing of things and shedding those extra lbs that I'd put on. I am thrilled to have a workout schedule that works for me. I am overjoyed that my husband is making these changes with me. And I'm so blessed to have the friends, family, and fellow bloggers that I have who support me 150%. I would not be anywhere near this point if it was not for your encouragement along the way. Thank you so much!

I finally feel like I'm where I'm supposed to be. I'm getting healthy. My house is staying clean (for once). My friendships are right where they should be (and improving daily, rather than getting weaker). My family is becoming more united. I feel better about myself, inside and out. And I love that feeling.

Thanks for letting me share my journey with you!

'Night y'all!

Day 253

Exercise1: 1.5 mi walk
Breakfast: Kefir smoothie
Lunch: salad w/hard boiled egg; green beans
Dinner: grilled chicken with stir-fried vegetables
Snack: yogurt
Exercise2: 55 min Zumba class

Pinspired

Like so many others... I get inspired by Pinterest daily. This idea seemed too simple and perfect to pass up, so I gave it a try. It all started with a trip to Office Depot. I bought one package of red binder rings, a hole punch (cos can you believe we didn't have one?), and some strong adhesive labels.

 

I used 3M Permanent Adhesive Inkjet, Laser, & Coper Labels and a template from their website to format the labels. The font is one I made from my own handwriting on acrotype.com (another Pinterest idea, btw). The pin I found for this used scrapbook paper to make the front and back covers, but I just decided to cut up the box it came in and use the front and back of that. Maybe not as decorative, but it made sense to me and I was just going to throw the box out anyway.

 

Original pin:

Source: craftster.org via Kaycie on Pinterest

What has Pinspired you lately? 

Day 250 Recap

Breakfast: yogurt; green tea
Lunch: small salad w/turkey and hard boiled egg; grapes, honeydew melon, and baby carrots; steamed mixed vegetables
Dinner: turkey chili w/cheese and picante salsa
Dessert: yogurt
Exercise: 1.5 mi walk

Had a truly amazing weekend. Spent it with family and friends celebrating Husband's birthday! His birthday also happened to be Day 250, so of course I had to take pictures!

Day 1.

Day 250.

I feel like I'm finally starting to see some results again! Here is a recap of all the pictures I've taken...

Happy to be moving in the right direction!

Hope your Monday wasn't too horrible. Have a great week! 

'Night y'all!

The I Love Today Post

Breakfast: 4 egg whites w/onion; yogurt; green tea
Lunch: small salad w/Italian dressing; green beans; honeydew melon, 4 strawberries, and red seedless grapes
Snack: yogurt
Dinner: Romaine lettuce w/grape tomatoes, feta cheese, onion, and honey mustard vinaigrette
Dessert: yogurt
Exercise: NONE

Today = Epic

I woke up and hopped on the scale. Since last Friday, I've lost 8.2 pounds! I was so excited! Now I'm down to 242.6... Ready to make my way back into the 230's and stay there!!

I had a short day at my internship today because some kiddos canceled, so I got to come home early... Always a pleasant surprise! I stopped at Petsmart on the way home and got the pooch some presents. He ran out of dog toys a long while ago, so it was time we got him some new ones!

Then I got home and rested. Got to watch TV and do absolutely nothing. It's been wonderful. In fact, it's still happening. =]

I wish Husband was here to enjoy the relaxation with me, but he's at work. Tomorrow is his birthday and we've got a busy Saturday and Sunday planned to celebrate. I'm so excited and blessed to get to spend another year celebrating his life with him!

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend!

'Night y'all!

Day 248

Exercise 1: 1.5mi walk
Breakfast: yogurt, 4 egg whites cooked with an onion; green tea
Lunch: green beans; side salad w/cucumbers and turkey; red seedless grapes
Snack: 20 baby carrots
Exercise 2: 55min Zumba class
Dinner: NONE (ooopsie.. Got home late and was tired)

Weigh-in's tomorrow and I could not be more excited! I'll let you know how it goes! =]

The Daily Routine Post

Breakfast: yogurt
Lunch: two turkey patties w/cheese and turkey bacon; stir-fry mixed veggies
Snack: red seedless grapes and a cameo apple
Dinner: Romaine lettuce w/grape tomatoes, feta cheese, dried cranberries, and poppy seed dressing
Snack: yogurt
Exercise: 1.5 mile walk; 8.5 mile (20 min) ride on the sauna bike at Tan & Tone

Lunch from today. Yum! Wish there was leftovers!

I am tired.

I just stepped in from finishing up my walk for the day and it's 8:30. I haven't eaten dinner, and I'm really not wanting to eat this late but I know I should at least have a salad. Sigh. I kicked my own butt today and it feels pretty damn good.

I can honestly say that I've never had this much dedication. Despite having popcorn the past two nights, I have 100% stuck to the diet. Every. Single. Day. And it feels great. I'm not saying eating McDonald's, Burger King, and Taco Bell doesn't also feel great... But this is a much more satisfying, long-term "great". I am very very much looking forward to what the scale will say on Friday. I can with every bit of certainty say I've never looked forward to a weigh in as much as I'm looking forward to this one. I know I've put in the work, and I know the scale with show it. I feel lighter and feel better in my skin again. I still have extra bulge I'd put on the past couple months, but I know it won't be stickin' around for much longer and that's so thrilling.

I skipped Zumba last night because yesterday morning's walk put a blister on the ball of my foot about the size of a nickel and I didn't want to make it worse my dancing on it. Maybe it's an excuse, but I'm definitely glad I didn't go. Today I was able to walk my 1/2 mile and then bike 8.5 miles on the sauna bike at Tan & Tone (for free, I might add, since I had a coupon). The sauna bike is basically just a simple stationary bike with sauna lights shining directly on you so you sweat A LOT more than you normally would and burn twice the calories. So, when my ride was done, the machine said I burned 280 calories... Take that and double it to make 560 and that's how much I really burned, with the lights. Then right after that I did my walk... So I'm definitely hoping to sleep well tonight! ha.

Walking in the morning and then Zumba tomorrow night. Sigh. I love having the schedule set so that it's just part of my everyday. I will not miss 5AM walks, though, when this challenge is over. ha. I will just do 1.5 mi a day and do it later in the day. I know, for some people, waking up early to work out is a lifesaver and gives them so much extra energy in the day... But that is not the case for me. It wears me out. And I go to bed early the night before and still am tired. I won't say I'm more tired than I would be normally, but it definitely doesn't give me any boost, which is unfortunate because I'd probably be more likely to continue if it did. I will I do feel mentally more satisfied with myself the rest of the day because I know I started the day off well and have it out of the way. That is definitely nice!

Anyways, I guess I'm gonna go throw together a salad and watch some Teen Mom!

'Night y'all!

Day 246

Breakfast: 4 egg whites and 1 whole egg; yogurt
Lunch: small salad; 2 strawberries, honeydew melon, and grapes
Snack: baby carrots
Dinner: Harvest Chicken Salad from Quizno's
Dessert: popcorn

The New Motto Post

Breakfast: 4 egg whites w/onion; yogurt; green tea
Snack: 1 1/2 cups red seedless grapes
Lunch: Autumn Chopped Salad; green tea
Dinner: "chicken-vegetable spaghetti" (stir-fried veggies and chicken in 1/2 cup spaghetti sauce)
Snack: popcorn
Exercise: 3mi walk w/the dog (1/2 in afternoon, 1/2 in evening)

As I mentioned previously, I started going to a Zumba class last week. Originally I thought "I need to be sure and go at least Tuesday and Thursday, because I don't think I'll know after the first class if I like it or not." And of course the class Tuesday kicked my butt. I kept thinking though "I'll go Thursday and see if it gets better." I had somewhat of a revelation on Wednesday, however, and decided to just commit to it now. I realized that I have a tendency to try a lot of different things "to see if I like it" and then always find some reason not to like it. When really the only thing I don't "like" about it is that it's stinkin' hard!

So I've decided that if there's ever anything I come across that I don't want to finish solely for the fact that "it's hard"... I need to make a point to push myself through it. This goes for exercise, food choices, personal decisions, school, work... Anything. I know this kind of revelation is something that comes natural for most people, and I suppose somewhere I knew that that's what I should do. But it never occurred to me that I need to just make a decision and stick with it.

What did you challenge yourself to do today?

The Salad and a Baby Post

Breakfast: yogurt
Lunch: Autumn Chopped Salad
Dinner: 4 egg whites w/onion and 1 Butterball Everyday Turkey Smoked Sausage link
Dessert: yogurt

Another great day. Kind of rocky in the beginning, but it got exponentially better once I got to hold and squeeze a newborn baby. A great friend I've had since junior high gave birth early this morning to her second little one, and since it was the weekend I was able to make it down to see them. It was wonderful to not only see her, but to share in the excitement of a new life.

One o'these days, it'll be my turn.

Until then, I'll blog about the Autumn Chopped Salad I made today, because that's just how boring I am.

I got the recipe from Pinterest a week or so ago, and since we went grocery shopping this morning (for the first time since July 26th, I might add) I bought the ingredients and decided to give it a whirl today.

What the original recipe says you'll need:

*6 to 8 cups chopped romaine lettuce
*2 medium pears, chopped
*1 cup dried cranberries
*1 cup chopped pecans
*8 slices thick-cut bacon, crisp-cooked and crumbled
*4 to 6 oz. feta cheese, crumbled
*Poppy seed Salad Dressing (I like T. Marzetti)
*Balsamic Vinaigrette (I like Newman's Own Light Balsamic Vinaigrette)

 What I actually used:
*1 1/2 chopped romaine hearts
*1 small pear
*1/3 cup dried cranberries
*2 slices Butterball Everyday turkey bacon
*1/3 cup Crystal Farms Reduced fat feta cheese
*2 tbs poppy seed dressing (I used Maple Grove Farms of Vermont)
*1 tbs Carbonell extra virgin olive oil
*1 1/2 tbs balsamic vinegar

I just changed the proportions when I made it because I was only making one salad. You could change it however you like. For instance, I don't think I'll add the feta next time because I don't think I'd notice the difference. The pears, cranberries, and poppy seed dressing are what make this salad good for me. Although the cranberries add a lot of extra calories, a little goes a long way and I think it's worth it.

Anyways, that was my day. I had an amazing salad. Got to love on a precious baby girl (and dream of my own, one day). And spent a majority of the day with my mother. Pretty wonderful, if I do say so myself.

And I obviously do.

'Night y'all!

For the Better

Breakfast: yogurt and pear
Lunch: chicken and veggie stir-fry; side salad
Dinner: Eggplant Parmesan and roasted cauliflower
Snack: baby carrots

Well, I am officially back in the game. After a long bout of going back and forth on dieting/binging... I'm finally back to the state of mind I need to be in to stick with it! Bray and I have put back on 15 lbs a piece since we dropped the ball on the diet... And we finally decided enough was enough. Yesterday was our first day back on the diet, and the past week I've been focusing on my exercise plan. So here's what it's looking like:

I will be walking 3 miles everyday for 5 days of the week. I'm doing this with a friend of mine after I read about the Amp the Activity Challenge. Also, I started going to a Zumba class another friend instructs on Tuesdays and Thursdays. It kicks my butt, but I know it will get me in gear.

That is my exercise plan, as well as any added pilates/yoga/Tan & Tone I decide to throw in, for fun. I'm really excited about having a plan to stick to this time, rather than just doing it whenever I could talk myself into it. Now I have friends to help keep me accountable to it, and that's so nice to have!

Speaking of accountability... I'm taking it up a notch for this round of Biggest Loser. I know this is going to be my best round yet, because I can tell my heart's fully in it. I'm ready to feel the victory of loss again!

Thank you all for sticking with me! Your encouragement and words of support are what's kept me coming back. Now I'm here to stay!

What are you doing to change your life for the better?

Big Girl, You Are Beautiful

AM Workout: 10 minutes pilates; 17 minutes cardio ab workout
Breakfast: yogurt
Lunch: Chicken Express tenders, fries, and corn nuggets
Snack: apple
Dinner: chicken carbonara pasta bowl from Domino's
PM Workout: 20 minutes walk with dog

Okay, so I fibbed. Turns out I am doing the Biggest Loser challenge this time around. It started Friday. I'm trying to invest a lot of time in it so I can stay focused and involved. Obviously the diet portion of BL hasn't set in for me yet. We have to wait for BDR's next paycheck to do a grocery run, and then the intensity can really kick in. Bray is doing it with me this time around, even though he can't technically be a part of the group (girls only now). So here are my stats in the beginning:

Kaycie:
     Starting Weight: 249.8 lbs
     Starting Pants Size: 18
     Starting Shirt Size: L-XL
     Goal for end of BL4: 220.0 lbs

Braylen's starting weight is 198.2. His goal is to get back to 180.

I've found that since all of this started in January, I am no longer afraid to talk about my body or the condition it's in. I know for most women in our society, their own dress size is a taboo topic of discussion, not to mention talking about their actual weight! In fact, I know some women who are so ashamed of the number on the scale, they are too embarrassed to join a weight loss group where the scale will be publicly displayed to the group. Maybe I just got to the point where hiding it was just making it worse. At my heaviest, I was ten pounds away from 300. That is not something I am proud of. However, until I came to terms with it... It held some kind of power over me. Like maybe if I ignored it long enough it would go away.

Beauty in all shapes and sizes.

I weigh 250 lbs. I am struggling to lose more because my food addiction has taken over yet again. I have stretch marks on my arms, back, midsection, belly, legs, and knees. However, I am no longer afraid to wear a bathing suit. I am no longer afraid to discuss my weight and weight loss journey openly and honestly with friends, family, and strangers alike. I am no longer afraid to undress with the light on. I am no longer afraid to look in the mirror. I am no longer afraid to call myself beautiful.

I know the steps I need to take to make myself healthy once again. I know the steps I need to take to feel comfortable in my own skin once again. I know the steps I need to take to love my body once again.

5'5"; 180 pounds; 46' bust; 33' waist; 48' hips; size 14
Absolutely beautiful.

Now I just need to put one foot in front of the other.

All images from Pinterest and Google

Post title from "Big Girl (You are Beautiful)" by MIKA