Monday, August 29, 2011

Big Girl, You Are Beautiful

AM Workout: 10 minutes pilates; 17 minutes cardio ab workout
Breakfast: yogurt
Lunch: Chicken Express tenders, fries, and corn nuggets
Snack: apple
Dinner: chicken carbonara pasta bowl from Domino's
PM Workout: 20 minutes walk with dog

Okay, so I fibbed. Turns out I am doing the Biggest Loser challenge this time around. It started Friday. I'm trying to invest a lot of time in it so I can stay focused and involved. Obviously the diet portion of BL hasn't set in for me yet. We have to wait for BDR's next paycheck to do a grocery run, and then the intensity can really kick in. Bray is doing it with me this time around, even though he can't technically be a part of the group (girls only now). So here are my stats in the beginning:

     Starting Weight: 249.8 lbs
     Starting Pants Size: 18
     Starting Shirt Size: L-XL
     Goal for end of BL4: 220.0 lbs

Braylen's starting weight is 198.2. His goal is to get back to 180.

I've found that since all of this started in January, I am no longer afraid to talk about my body or the condition it's in. I know for most women in our society, their own dress size is a taboo topic of discussion, not to mention talking about their actual weight! In fact, I know some women who are so ashamed of the number on the scale, they are too embarrassed to join a weight loss group where the scale will be publicly displayed to the group. Maybe I just got to the point where hiding it was just making it worse. At my heaviest, I was ten pounds away from 300. That is not something I am proud of. However, until I came to terms with it... It held some kind of power over me. Like maybe if I ignored it long enough it would go away.

Beauty in all shapes and sizes.

I weigh 250 lbs. I am struggling to lose more because my food addiction has taken over yet again. I have stretch marks on my arms, back, midsection, belly, legs, and knees. However, I am no longer afraid to wear a bathing suit. I am no longer afraid to discuss my weight and weight loss journey openly and honestly with friends, family, and strangers alike. I am no longer afraid to undress with the light on. I am no longer afraid to look in the mirror. I am no longer afraid to call myself beautiful.

I know the steps I need to take to make myself healthy once again. I know the steps I need to take to feel comfortable in my own skin once again. I know the steps I need to take to love my body once again.

5'5"; 180 pounds; 46' bust; 33' waist; 48' hips; size 14
Absolutely beautiful.

Now I just need to put one foot in front of the other.

All images from Pinterest and Google
Post title from "Big Girl (You are Beautiful)" by MIKA

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