Saturday, September 24, 2011

The Onion Post

Breakfast: yogurt and banana
Snack: golden delicious apple
Lunch: 2 turkey patties w/fat free American cheese, corn, and blackeye peas
Dinner: Chinese food (fried rice, various meats, lo mein)
Exercise: 1/4 mi walk, 30 mins pilates, 15 push-ups, 40 arm curls

Since we started this diet, my love for onions has grown exponentially. They add so much amazing flavor to every meal and are so easy to prepare. We put them in everything, from eggs to salads to mixed vegetable stir-fries to pot roast to, well, just sauteed onions as a side dish. I buy a bag of onions every week and we still somehow manage to run out before the next grocery run. It's gotten to the point where the smell of the onions I cut in the morning for my eggs sticks on my hands all day... And the smell comforts me. I know that sounds sick, but I just have grown to love them so much. 

Today I've been thinking about the cliche metaphor of peeling back layers of yourself like peeling off the layers of an onion. I mean, we've all seen Shrek, right? You know what I'm talking about. I'm realizing more and more the symbolism between onions and weight loss. 

Okay, bear with me. This might not be a good post to read if you've never visited my blog before. Cos it's about to get strange. 

Onions are really ugly on the outside. Kind of like how I felt about myself before I started this weight loss journey. Not necessarily that I was ugly... But what I was doing to my body and how I thought about food was just that: Ugly. The outside of an onion is garbage. It needs to be removed so you can utilize the good stuff underneath. It's kind of like a protective layer for what's hiding inside. Almost like how I was using this extra weight as a guard so that I didn't have to deal with why I was gaining weight. Why I was mistreating my body. Why I wasn't living to my full potential. Why I ate uncontrollably, even when I was full. The outside wall I built up was garbage, and I needed to throw it out so I could utilize all the good stuff I have inside.

Little by little that outside layer is coming off. It's not completely gone. I still have lapses in judgment when I forget what my goal is and that layer sticks on a little longer. As the layers fall away, though, and as the weight comes off, I pray that I get to know and love myself that much more. I pray that through the struggles and victories I face over the next months and years of my recovery from this addiction I can pull myself closer to God. I know that it is His strength I have to rely on to pull that layer off completely. Because he knows about all the good stuff I've got hiding underneath and I know He's ready for me to use it.

Here's to pulling off another layer...

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