Friend Makin' Monday: Cooking Habits

If you’ve taken part in FMM then you know the rules. If you’re new, please take a moment to answer this week’s question on your own blog then add your link in the comments section in Kenlie's blog at: www.alltheweigh.com so we can all see your FMM questions and answers. Please invite your blog readers to add their links here too so everyone has to opportunity to be seen. The idea is to connect with other awesome bloggers so take a moment to post your own FMM post and comment on a couple of other posts. Now it’s time for this week’s topic!

FMM: Cooking Habits

1. What is your favorite meal to prepare at home?  Right now, nothing. Husband's been doing most of the cooking this whole semester (bless is little heart) because I just... Nope, it's not happening. I walk in the kitchen with intentions to cook, take one look at the dirty dishes in the sink, and walk right back out. I can't do it. And I can't muster the motivation to constantly clean my kitchen or pester Husband to do it (cleaning the kitchen is "his" chore) so I just... Forfeit. BUT, all that anti-housewivery aside... Once school is finished, I will polish up on my housewife skills and get back to cooking/cleaning (hopefully, anyway).

Okay, but now that I said all that.. One thing I have been craving lately that I've taken the time/energy to actually make is hard-boiled eggs. I know, it's a silly thing to crave, but I have been a lot so they're almost always on hand. I mash 3 hard boiled egg whites with one whole egg, add in 1 tbs of fat free mayo, some dill, paprika, and today I also added 1 tbs of sweet pickle relish. Mmmm... Makes me want some NOW!

2. Do you like to experiment in the kitchen, or do you prefer to stick to the basics? While we're going a million miles per hour all the time and hardly ever eating together, we stick to the basics. I love to experiment and try new things, but our schedule and my lack of brain power at the end of the day just doesn't call for it. Only one week til graduation!! We're almost there!

Our two most common meals: grilled chicken and mixed veggies (normally we cut up the chicken and saute it with the veggies, but I guess I don't have a picture of that... Whoops!) and turkey burgers with mixed veggies. Obviously, frozen vegetables are a staple in our diet. Sigh...

3. What is your favorite cookbook? I own very few cookbooks, Pioneer Woman being my favorite. Of course, her food doesn't easily lend itself to weight loss so we haven't used the book in over a year. That being said, I find most of my recipes for our diet online or in my 17 Day Diet book.

Pioneer Woman's penne a la Betsy, with chicken instead of shrimp. One of my favorite recipes I've made of PW's.

4. Do you have any tricks to share that help you reach your fruits and veggies goal for the day? Well, back when I was a stickler for weekly grocery trips (and therefor had fruits & veggies aplenty) I would have a serving of fruit with breakfast and a serving as a snack between breakfast and lunch or a serving with lunch. I tried to have 2 day and fit them in before 2 PM (as directed by the 17 Day Diet). One trick I've found works best for us to make sure the fruit gets eaten before it spoils is separating it out beforehand. Things like grapes, strawberries... anything that has to be washed and prepared beforehand I try to do as soon as I take it out of my grocery bag, before it ever goes in the fridge. I also separate grapes out into separate Ziploc bags for easy access to throw in our lunches.

As far as vegetables go... I use carrots as my go-to binge filler. When I'm feeling like eating a LOT of something because I'm just... craving... I go grab carrots and mindlessly eat the hell out of them. That way, I can eat and eat and eat and eat (and eat and eat) and not feel bad about it. This doesn't happen often, by the way, but I find that carrots are good for that. I also often will have my "big meal" of the day at lunch and have a large salad for dinner. Maybe it's the European in me, but I find that I enjoy having my bigger meals earlier in the day.

Typical dinner salad: romaine and spinach leaves w/feta cheese, grape tomatoes, and some type of vinaigrette. I wrote a post a long time ago about the salad I had every night for the longest, because it was so delicious. View that post here.

5. What’s the most interesting thing you made last week?  Wait, I cooked last week? Oh... No. You have me confused with someone else. Sorry! I definitely didn't. Unless you count a salad as cooking.
6. How often do you watch cooking shows on TV?  I don't. Well, I guess I watch America's Next Great Baker and Cake Boss, but that's just cos I like to see the cakes decorated... And I like Buddy. =]
7. When you’re hungry, where are you most likely to look first? The refrigerator, or the pantry? Neither, I don't have anything in either one. If I'm craving bad enough to look for something to eat, it turns into a binge and I go get fast food (again, doesn't happen often).
8. List a few healthy staples that can always be found in your kitchen. We always have grilled chicken tenderloins, frozen vegetable (Bird's Eye broccoli, cauliflower, and carrot mix, to be exact), yogurt, eggs, romaine lettuce, canned diced & crushed tomatoes, and turkey patties.
9. Are you motivated to cook at home even when you’re eating alone? No. If I'm alone, I usually have leftovers or a salad. Actually... I only ever have leftovers or a salad when I'm alone.
10.  How often do you try new recipes? Not as often as I would enjoy. Despite my lack of ambition and motivation this year because of school, I really do enjoy cooking so much. My mind just can't be focused on that right now. But SO SO soon!! (Like, next week!!! EEEEEK!!!)

Don't forget to head back over to Kenlie's and leave a link to your blog if you participate!

Goal Post

haha. Get it? Goal Post? I crack myself up.

I haven't really posted all of my weight loss goals altogether in one post, so I thought I would because it's something that's been on my mind a lot the past few days.

• By this Friday, May 4th, I would like to be at 235 lbs (that's 4 lbs away). It is my final weigh-in with this round of Biggest Loser, and I want it to be a good one. Last year, the lowest weight I reached was 232 and I would love to beat that very soon, but know that's a little far-fetched to hit by Friday, ha. So 235 is my goal for this week, and 232 or below shortly thereafter.
• By May 11th, I would like to be at or below 229 lbs (that's 10 lbs away). My ob/gyn appointment is that day, and at our last appointment in January, she challenged me to losing 30 lbs by our next appointment (weight loss is our main hurdle to cross before we try to have a baby so my ob/gyn is involved in the process now).
• By November 1st, I would like to be at or below 199 lbs (basically under 200). It gives me "goosies" to think about being under 200 lbs. I don't think I have been since elementary school. Talk about a huge milestone. Really hoping I can finally make this one a reality. 
•  By February 23, 2013 (my best friend's wedding) I would like to be at or below 180 lbs. We're going to Hawaii for their honeymoon (yes, BDR and I are going on their honeymoon with them... They came with us to ours, so it's only fair! ha) and Jess and I both want to be bathing suit ready by then! If I feel like I look acceptable (and not half bad) in a bathing suit now, at 239 lbs... I can't imagine what I will look like at 180! 
• By July 1, 2013 (my 24th birthday) I would like to be at or below 150 (my goal weight).

Wow, to put it all in writing makes it seem so easy. ha. Five milestones away from goal weight? Sounds like a piece of cake (except I probably shouldn't eat any cake between now and then, ha). However, I know it will be so much harder than it sounds. Last year when we started this I thought for sure I'd be done at this point and here I am struggling with the same 10-15 lbs that I have been for the past 12 months. I don't want to start in on negativity, so I'll just say that it's a process and I'm still learning every day. Looking at these goals does make me so excited to achieve them and mark them off my list, one  by one. I wanted to put them all in one place so, as they are achieved, I can cross them off and we can celebrate together (since you all are the support that gets me through all these accomplishments)!

What are your goals, either short-term or long-term?

Ch-ch-changes & Week 7 Weigh-In

Just made a lot of exciting (for me) changes to the blog. This whole year and a half I've been blogging I've wondered how the heck to make separate pages at the top of my blog and I finally discovered how. So check out those additions and let me know what you think. I would love to hear some suggestions if you feel like something is missing!

Oh, and since I'm here I may as well say that God is so so good.

I weighed in this morning because I refused to skip two Biggest Loser weigh-in's.

 Stats for Week 7 Weigh-In with Biggest Loser:
Starting Weight for 2012: 262.2
Previous Posted Weight: 238.8
Last Week's Weight: 243.2
Current Weight: 239.0

Would you believe it... I'm down 4.2 lbs from last week?! I couldn't believe it this morning so I stepped off the scale and tried again and there it was staring me in the face:

I thought for sure I'd still be in the 240s after the horrible week I've had (as far as eating goes). There is no rhyme or reason to this weight loss. I wish I could take credit for it. I mean, I guess I have still been getting at least 3 workouts per week in, but otherwise, my head's not been in the game.

If anything this makes me want to try even harder to stay out of the 240s. I don't know what I did to get back down, but I sure don't want to waste this UNEXPECTED FORTUNE. 

With that said, I'm gonna go do some pilates. 

Check out my new pages, y'all!

Hope and a Future

I can't decide if I want to write this post or not.

My mind has been overloaded the last few weeks with studying, taking major tests, stressing over my no-job situation, trying not to stress over my no-job situation, being overjoyed about Braylen graduating, being scared out of my mind because he's quitting his job soon, losing tons of weight a few weeks in a row and then gaining some of it back...

I've just been out of control.

I feel out of place all the time, unless I'm with BDR or my family. I constantly feel like I'm putting on a happy face while inside I want to scream or cry. I can't tell you how many times over the past few weeks I've had to shut myself in a room and just put my head on the desk or lie on the floor to just, breathe. It's pathetic. And I don't say this to make anyone feel sorry for me. I'm being a whiny brat right now, and I know that. Which is why I'm trying to hold everything in lately. I don't want to compromise any chances I might have by being stressed or overwhelmed. I'm supposed to be able to handle all of this. I'm supposed to be flexible and be able to change plans at a moments notice.

And for the most part, I can.

Something has to give, though. The past few weeks, my diet has definitely been what has had to give. My mind has never been this warped concerning food before. I've gone down dark paths with my eating habits, sure, but I've always been able to get my way out eventually and start over. Everyday I tell myself that such-and-such is my start date (because that's always worked for me in the past, I set my mind and stick to it) and one thing leads to another and I break down. I have been breaking down too many times. I'm slowing starting to pull myself back in and face reality... My weigh-in with my ob/gyn is happening two weeks from today. I have to lose at least 14 lbs by then. I am capable of losing big numbers, but even for me that's a tall order.

The next few months will come and go just like the last few months. I don't want to wish the time living in between away, because I know each moment is a blessing. However, a part of me does wish I knew what was lying ahead. I so badly want to know whether I got this job. I so badly want to know where we will be working, living, driving everyday...

But...

"'I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future" -Jeremiah 29:11

I have got to believe that everything happens in His perfect plan. 

I have got to believe that despite my insecurities and hesitations about the future, He has none. 

I have got to believe in my marriage and its power to pull us through this stressful situation.

I have got to believe that anything is possible.




I have got to believe in me.

Here's to Us!

Here's to us! Here's to ordering a salad when we really want a burger. Here's to drinking more water then seems possible. Here's to pushing yourself to go five more minutes. Here's to working out twice as much as your skinny friends. Here's to saying screw you to the old you, to falling in love with the new you, the you that you always wanted to become. Here's to looking in the mirror, not seeing any change and throwing on your shoes and hitting the gym anyway. Here's to sore muscles and shin splints, to sweat shirts and stinky socks. Here's to falling down and getting back up. And getting up tomorrow and doing it all over again!

I saw this posted on Sarah's blog, and I had to repost it. Feel free to repost it on your own blog.

The Graduate

Sorry this post is so overdue. I've been keeping up with everyone else's posts, but my mind has been in a real funk lately and I haven't felt like writing. However, this post is not about my funk or my lack of wanting to write... This post is about my husband, the graduate.

On Friday, BDR walked across the stage and received his Bachelor's degree from the University of Science and Arts of Oklahoma (where we met). USAO has a lot of memories for us, both separately and together, so Friday's ceremony was bittersweet.

April 23, 2010 (my graduation from USAO), in the classroom where we first met.

Over the past two years, while I've been in graduate school, Braylen has been working full time night shift to support us. We are currently a single income family and it's hard sometimes to make ends meet, but God always provides for us, even when we let stress get the best of us. I am overwhelmed by the man I've been blessed with. He is constantly tired, underpaid and over-qualified at his job, and can't focus on his classes as much as he should... All to ensure that I have been able to focus and finish my degree. He is my hero. Without him, I know graduate school would have been near impossible.

My honey, hard at work.

So, as we step into the unknown (I still don't know if I got that job or when I will have a job.. Or where that job will be) for this summer, I am willing and eager to take on that same responsibility while he finishes his last two classes. I won't say I'm not nervous... It's a lot of pressure to provide our sole income (and this is only the tip of the iceberg on the pressure he must have been feeling for the past two years)!! For how selfish I have felt over this period in our life together, I am that much more excited to provide that same comfort to him: School without the stress of working.

Now, back to the graduation (sorry for the tangent!).

I expected to cry. A lot. And despite being overwhelmingly proud of him and so happy that he's finally accomplished this huge goal... I didn't very much. I teared up, most definitely... But I get more emotional thinking about it now and what it really means to us than I did when it actually happened. Probably because they just read his name, he walked across the stage, and then the next person was called and the program continued. It didn't last very long, so maybe that's why... My emotions didn't have time to do what I expected them to do.

I haven't ever seen BDR look more handsome or proud. I can honestly say, his expression and the way he carried himself was even more proud than on our wedding day. He has been looking forward to this for so long, I can't imagine how good it must feel to bring seven years of college education to a close.

As I said, we both have strong ties to USAO, and I am certain that we will still be a part of that college community for years to come. I am so thankful that we have completed our time there, but even now, we reminisce about when we first met, eating at Scooter's (which, now it's not called that anymore apparently), walking around campus, waking up 5 minutes before class started, and living in the same apartment as our best friends.

Basically, I am so thankful for that school and what it has brought to my life. It brought me my career, my best girlfriend, my adulthood, and... It brought me Braylen.

I couldn't be happier for him and to explore the next step in our journey.

Friend Makin' Monday: Q&A

If you’ve taken part in FMM then you know the rules. If you’re new, please take a moment to answer this week’s question on your own blog then add your link in the comments section of Kenlie's blog at: www.alltheweigh.com so we can all see your FMM questions and answers. Please invite your blog readers to add their links here too so everyone has to opportunity to be seen. The idea is to connect with other awesome bloggers so take a moment to post your own FMM post and comment on a couple of other posts. Now it’s time for this week’s topic!

FMM: Q & A

1. Share one thing that has changed about you since you began blogging. I didn't know, when I started the blog, that I would take on losing weight. It was never a thought in my mind. So that's definitely a change. Another change is that I've become more open with myself and with others about, well, everything. My life is an open book. There's rarely a topic of discussion I won't touch on my blog.
2. If you were forced to give up chocolate or potato chips for an entire year which one would you choose to live without? Definitely potato chips over chocolate.
3. What’s more attractive?  A man in a suit, or a man in uniform? Well, I guess both. I love Husband in a suit but he looks darn good in his work uniform also.
4. If you could be a guest star on a reality show which one would it be?  Biggest Loser, most definitely.
5. What is the last meal that you prepared for yourself? I can't remember. And that's really sad.
6. Is your hair colored, or is it natural?  It's natural except for a few remaining highlights on my bottom layers from a year ago.
7. If you could leave town today and go anywhere, where would you go?  Destin, FL.
8. Do you prefer to exercise at the gym, at home or outside?  Gym, in a workout class. Or walking outside.
9. Have you ever asked someone out on a date?  Yes.
10. How many cups of coffee do you drink on an average day?None. I'm not a coffee drinker.
11. Do you pack lightly, or do you over pack? I tend to overpack on clothes (just to be prepared) but I only ever take 1-2 pairs of shoes, unlike most women... So I think it all evens out.
12. What color are your nails now? No polish right now.
13. If you could have lunch with one notable (living) person who inspires you who would it be? I really am not sure on this one.
14. Who is your favorite professional athlete? I don't have one. Not much of a sports watcher (much to BDR's dismay).
15. Gum or mints? Either.. I don't have a preference.
16. Have you ever eaten crawfish? Nope.
17. List one or more human characteristics that are a complete turn-off.  Being inconsiderate is probably my biggest pet peeve.
18.  What is your favorite season? Fall/Winter.
19. Do you prefer to shake hands or hug? Depends on who it is. I only ever shake hands with someone when I'm first meeting them.
20. Can you quote lines from Saved by the Bell from memory?  If so, what’s your favorite? Definitely when Jesse's going nuts over the pills she's taking and she sings "I'm so excited, I'm so excited, I'm so, so.... scared" and then falls into Zack's arms and drops the pills. Sigh... I love Saved by the Bell.

Now it’s your turn!  Take a few moments to post your answers, then go back to Kenlie's site to link up in the comments!

Happy Monday Friends!

In My Dressing Room

I told you I've been wanting to shop lately. It was only a matter of time. The thing is, I rarely go shopping. So, when I do, I buy a ton of stuff all at once because it's been so long. We've been saving up for a while so I could have a good trip and get what I needed, and today was the day! I made one purchase yesterday, also, because I needed to get a dress for Braylen's graduation (more on that later). That single purchase made me crave a shopping trip that much more! Today we were passing Maurice's and I just had to go in. We made a small trip into Rue21 next door to see what kind of selection they had. I really liked the style in there and found three tops I ended up buying (as well as a really nice pair of jeans for Braylen) but they didn't have any pants that fit me, and that's what I really wanted. So we went over to Maurice's.

I couldn't stop picking out things I wanted to try on. The sales associate kept coming up and taking armfuls of clothes from me to fill my dressing room. It was out of control. I wound up trying on 30+ items today and spent about 2 hours shopping and trying things on. My poor, wonderful husband sat and watched TV on his iPhone and would look up every time I came out to tell me yay or nay. He was unbelievable. I'm way too lucky to have a patient hubs. He even went back to our house to get my Maurice's card for me!! Sigh... But enough about Husband (since my next post will be about nothing but him). I decided since this was such a huge excursion that I would bring you all along with me into the dressing room.

Before I get started, let me just say that I love stores like Maurice's (Cato's is another one I absolutely love for this reason). I love them because I can try on tons of things and choose items because they look/fit me the best. I am not limited by sizes of clothing. I don't have to make purchases because the items I pick are my only choices. I tried on so much stuff today and could turn down items that looked great on me just because I could. I wanted to buy everything, but had to be selective... and that's never the case in a "regular" store. Maurice's is special to me, also, because in some sections their sizes aren't S, M, L, or XL. They do a 0, 1, 2, 3, 4 scale, where 0 is size 14, 1 is 16-18, 2 is 20-22, 3 is 24-26, and 4 is size 24. So in certain pieces, I'm a size 0... and I love that! It's all a head trick, but it's a head trick I can buy into! Anyways, all that being said.. I just really like the store. I like the clothes, the customer service, the beautiful dressing rooms, and the way I feel when I leave the store. I will say, however, I hate the prices. It's ridiculous how expensive they sell stuff in there. Thus the saving up for a single trip. I digress though... Let's get to trying stuff on!

This is the dress I bought yesterday for Braylen's graduation (and what I will likely also be wearing to my own graduation).

The top part is like a pale peach color. Love it. Wish you could see more of the neckline in this photo. In my post about his graduation, I will attach another picture of this dress.

I sent the first shirt I tried on (and loved) out with the sales associate before I remembered to take a picture, so forgive me for not having a photo of it. Trust, it's gorgeous. Let's start with number 2 and probably my favorite top of the day, despite being so simple and "plain". 

I love the way it covers up all the imperfections and slims me down.

By the way, the jeans I'm wearing in the last picture and in most of my other pictures I bought, also. I was so excited to finally find a pair of jeans I love that fit me so well, I almost cried! It was the first time I've ever teared up in a dressing room from JOY instead of sadness. What a NSV! 

I thought it'd be cute if I held up how many fingers, related to what number item I was on. And then I realized I would need way more than just one hand (which is all I could use due to holding my phone in the other hand) so this is the only picture I did it for. I did not buy this shirt, by the way. I love the color and it looked good on me, but the price was more than I was willing to spend for a shirt I didn't love.

I really liked this shirt, and looking at this picture makes me want to go back and get it. I didn't buy it because Husband wasn't crazy about it. With so many other choices, I wasn't putting up a fight... But looking back, I'm wishing I would've stuck my tongue out at him. ha. It's just unlike anything I have in my closet and that's why I loved it. (Even if it does have "wings".)

Definitely did not purchase this shirt. It looked so much better on the hanger than it did on me. And the "wings" on this shirt weren't nearly as endearing as on the other. Just wasn't into this top.

LOVE THIS TOP. Everything about it. So pretty. Definitely bought it.

I really liked this tank, but again... I wasn't crazy enough about it to justify the price. It wasn't special enough.

Wasn't as big of a fan of these ruffles on me as I was of them on the hanger. And I feel like this shirt was showing off my rolls, rather than hiding them.

I liked this top but it was almost the same color as the first shirt I tried on (and loved... The one I didn't get a picture of =\ ) so I passed.

Liked it, but liked way too many others a lot more.

Didn't flatter me at all. Plus it seems kind of wintery (despite having holes all over it) and it's almost summer, y'all!

But I did buy these black dress capris! They'll be perfect for work since it's getting warmer!

I really wanted to love this shirt because it was gorgeous on the rack, but it just didn't look right on me.

See how pretty the lace is? With pale skin though, it just made me look even more washed out.

I wasn't crazy about this top, but Bray really liked it so I bought it. It's definitely unlike anything in my closet right now, and it'll be good for work (or church) so I like it!

This shirt, oh my goodness. I lol'd when I put it on. I loved it on the hanger. but it reminded me of clowns, for some reason. It had so many ruffles and these little dot things all over it. And the part that wrapped around my neck would be hot and scratchy over the summer. Not to mention it kind of grossed me out that it had other women's makeup on it. So this was a definite pass.

I LOVED the back of this shirt.

But wasn't crazy about the front. I have another shirt with the same ruffles that's a tank top in a different color, so I didn't want to buy another.

See? Same ruffles. I love them, but didn't want two of the same shirt.

 And then I tried on some LBDs.

I think that's probably the most hour glass-y my bod's ever looked. This dress gave me curves in all the right places. But it was SKIN TIGHT (as it was designed to be, not because it didn't fit) and I just knew I wouldn't be comfortable in it... Yet. I didn't purchase it, despite me looking at this picture now and thinking "Damn..."

This dress was... cute. And I didn't want another "cute" LBD. It was comfortable and flowy and flattering... But I have about 10 comfortable, flowy, and flattering dresses in my closet already so I passed.

Hello, winner! This dress had sparkles at the top, which I have none of in my closet (I know, what kind of girl am I, not having sequins) and I loved the way it showed off my curves.

I'll give you two reasons why Husband LOVED this dress. Hello, perfect date night dress!

Well, that was my trip to Maurice's today. I won't tell you how much I spent, but I will tell you that they are having a deal right now where if you buy $60 worth of clothing, you get 1 piece of jewelry (under $18) for free. And I got 3 pieces of free jewelry, so you do the math. With my purchases over the past two days from Maurice's, Rue21, and Shoe Department, I now have 7 new tops, 2 dresses, 1 pair of heels, 1 pair of dress capris, 1 pair of jeans, and FREE bangles and a necklace. Oh, and we bought BDR cologne, jeans, and dress socks.

Hope you enjoyed coming along with me into the dressing room. I left out a couple pairs of dress slacks and capris and one pair of pants because they wouldn't come all the way up and didn't think you'd wanna see me booty hanging out (you're welcome). Otherwise, that was everything. Afterward, I was exhausted but so so happy to find things I love (especially those jeans!).

I'll update ASAP about Bray's graduation yesterday (along with a couple photos of his handsome self in a cap and gown that you surely don't wanna miss... Nothin' hotter than a man with an education!). 

Hope y'all are having a pleasant Saturday!

BYOC -- Bring Your Own Crazy (A Day Late)

It’s Friday – so it’s time for BYOC – Bring Your Own Crazy from Drazil! We answer 5 questions to get to know each other better and to give our blogging brains a break! Copy to your own blog and enjoy!

1. Do you have any siblings? What is your relationship with them? Good, bad, ugly?
I have one older brother (3.5 years older). Growing up, we fought constantly. As teenagers, we got along a little bit better, probably because he moved out and we weren't living together anymore. As young adults things improved for a while and we spent more time together when he moved back to OK from CA. Then things got a little rocky. He now lives in WA. I haven't seen him in 2 years and we rarely speak.

2. Let’s talk pizza. Do you prefer homemade or restaurant? What toppings are your fave?
I prefer restaurant. Specifically Domino's or Pizza Hut. Braylen worked at Domino's for a while in college when we were engaged and he would make us the most incredible pizzas. I like ham, pineapple, and onions. Mostly we get Domino's because we love the garlic crust. But every once in a while, we like to enjoy Pizza Hut's stuffed crust (yummm).


3. When is the last time you cried – in sadness and in joy?
The last time I cried in sadness was last week when BDR and I had a fight. Let me clarify and say that I've cried from arguments with him, like, twice since we've been married. The last time I cried in joy was last night when Braylen graduated from college. 

So proud of my college-educated hubs.

 
4. Do you own a gun – one that is specifically yours? Do you know how to use it?
I do not own a gun that is mine. There is a gun propped up in the corner of our bedroom on my side of the bed, simply because BDR works night shifts so I'm all alone (should I say that on the internet?). It is a shotgun and despite having been told how to maneuver it, I haven't actually used it. However, if my knowledge of shotguns is correct, I'm pretty sure you don't have to have good aim at all, in short range, to get the job done. So despite my having just revealed I sleep alone 5 days out of every week... Also know that I have a shotgun within arms reach and am not afraid to try it out for the first time on whoever wants to come into my home. 

Also, I have two very ferocious guard dogs you'd have to pass in order to meet my shotgun.

I probably should've picked a different picture to make that point, huh?

 
5. Repeat question. Summarize your week!
My week was good. Work was busier for me than usual. Maybe it's because my mind was on BDR's graduation yesterday. Had class, which went fine. As far as diet/exercise goes, I only did three workouts this week. I say only like that's bad. Now that I think of it, three isn't too awful of a number, but, when compared to how much I was doing even just a couple weeks ago, it seems like nothing. Plus, with my diet being crud this week (and that pizza question making me crave it real bad) it just hasn't been very successful... And that always makes me depressed.

Another Prayer Request

I have been M.I.A. this week because I fell off the wagon. OBVIOUSLY.

My comps were Friday and from that morning until Braum's for dinner tonight I have been eating anything I can get my grubby little hands on. I don't know if it's due to a release of stress or if I just have learned absolutely nothing from the past year and 4 months. Part of me thinks it's because I finally got out of the 240s. Why is it that as soon as that happens I sabotage myself into (probably) shooting right back up into the 240s? That pisses me off to no end and I was well-aware I was doing this to myself all week and yet still did nothing to stop it. In fact, I ate just to prove I could.

It's the stupidest thing, this food problem I have.

I just like a lot of it. All at once. It's gross. Really.

So, in true Kaycie fashion, I ate a last hoorah meal for dinner tonight and am starting fresh tomorrow. Yes, I realize I'm starting fresh on a Friday, when my last post was about how weekends are detrimental for any/all exercise/diet activity. But I have to have a full week of kicking my butt if I plan to have a good weigh-in for Biggest Loser next week. By the way, I'm skipping weigh-in tomorrow because it will be just too pathetic to post, I'm sure. Anyways, I'm starting on Friday, knowing full-well that I have not one, but TWO birthday parties to go to this weekend. I'm a glutton for punishment.

But hey, I'd rather switch over to punishment than stick with food.

I have to fight temptation this weekend. There's just no if's, and's, or but's about it. And I know I can because I've done it before. When I really set my mind on it, I can control myself no problem. So far, it's been impossible to maintain that attitude however, and I'm not sure what to change to make that impossibility a habit.

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My husband graduates tomorrow. I have so much I could say about how proud of him I am, but I'll save that for my next post.

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My graduation is next month. And as that date quickly approaches, the unknown is becoming more and more worrisome. I still haven't heard about whether or not I got the job at the place I am interning. Patiently waiting, even though it kills us not to know. Braylen is hoping to quit his job this summer to focus on the classes he has to take to round out his degree so I have to have a job ASAP. Not knowing if that will be here in our town or if I will have to look elsewhere is overwhelmingly scary. The thought of working at any other facility, well, I just don't want to think about it.

The only thing keeping me sane is prayer, at this point. I find myself praying more than I have in years recently. Every quiet moment I get I'm asking for peace and guidance through this time. If this isn't the job for me right now, I know another opportunity will present itself. I know that our needs will be met one way or another this summer and beyond. I know that God will provide for us, just like he has from day 1 of our relationship. I know that our lives from next month on will be drastically and wonderfully new and different, and I can't wait to discover what's in store for us.

There are many uncertainties in our lives right now regarding the next couple of months. Really, the next couple of weeks. I ask that you join with me in prayer. Not only for us, but for all of my classmates too, as we embark on this next step in life.

Thank you for your unending support.

God bless.

'Night y'all!

Weekends are the Devil (And a Few Other Thoughts)

It's like that, only with weekends.

I've figured it out.... Weekends are my downfall.

I can make pretty good choices for myself during the week as far as diet/exercise go. And then Friday weigh-in comes and it's like my mind says it's party time all weekend because "I have all week to work it off". That's crap, let me tell ya. For the first round of Biggest Loser (way back in January-March of last year) we did weigh-in's on Monday and I feel like that was SO MUCH BETTER for me because it kept me straight all weekend (I like how I just used the term "kept me straight" as if I'm talking about a drug. Nice.) in preparation for Monday weigh-in. Now it's like the weekend is free reign for me to do whatever the heck I feel like and that's so so so SO stupid.

What do you do to keep yourself from overdoing it?

I can think of logical answers to that question that I would tell someone else. Obviously we need to have food at home to prepare ourselves so we don't go out. The thing is though, we have food right now... Foods I LIKE... And we still go out. The other problem with the weekends is that there's almost always at least one outing we go on with friends or family. For instance, today I went out to lunch with the girls I'm working with to celebrate one of their birthdays. So I looked at the menu online beforehand to try to pick out what I could eat. And then got there and ate a whole sandwich instead of half. I did stop myself from getting pasta salad and a cookie as a side, however, so it wasn't a total loss. But then instead of refraining from getting gelato afterwards (because I already had ice cream with Husband before lunch) I ordered three different flavors in a medium cup.

Hell.

I guess you win some, you lose some.

I just really need to figure out a game plan for myself because I won't reach my goals if I keep sabotaging myself on the weekends. It ruins my attitude for the week when I do that so I don't know why I continue to do so.

So, again, I ask you... What do you do to stay under control on the weekends?

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In other news, our tax money came in last week so our credit card balance is now at $0! Gosh, I love that feeling. I don't know why we let it accumulate like we do... It always feels so good to see it at zero!

I could easily spur up a shopping addiction. I really do love clothes. The more comfortable I feel in them the more I want to buy anything/everything. I tried on size 18s at Target today, where I've never bought jeans from before, and they didn't fit. It's so stupid. I've been a size 18 for as long as I can remember... No matter how much I've gained or how much I've lost. And yet... Some 18s fit and some don't come close. It's stupid. STUPID.

And that's why I like dresses. My thighs don't have to be constricted at all and they are much happier.

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I went for a walk with my pooches today. Our weather here over the weekend was horrible so they stayed inside all weekend and were really feeling antsy today. We walked around the block across the street 4 times (equaling 1 mile) and it felt good to get out with them. They bug me a lot sometimes, but they really are good pups. I kinda like them.

Before a walk a few months ago.

After our walk tonight.

Check out what's happening with my neck. That's something new that's been going on within the past 5-10 lbs lost.

Speaking of shopping addiction... This is one of the shirts I bought at Target today.

A few thoughts:

1. I desperately need to bite the bullet and get fitted for good tennis shoes. Immediately. 
2. My arms are the next thing to go. I have got to work on them so much more. When school's out I will be able to go to Body Pump on Monday/Wednesday and that will greatly help, but I need to do more at home.
3. That mirror was in our closet when we moved in. I've never cleaned it. Not once. Does that mean I win "Worst Homemaker Award"? If so, email me so I can get you my mailing address to ship my award to.
4. I'll put it on the bookshelf I never dust right next to all the frames I've never put pictures in or hung up. 

'Night y'all!

BYOC -- Bring Your Own Crazy (A Day Late)

It’s Friday (or was yesterday, anyway)! That means it’s time for Drazil's BYOC. Bring Your Own Crazy! We answer 5 questions in an effort to get to know each other better and to give our blogging brains a break! Copy to your own blog and enjoy!

1. Whether you’re a parent or not….what do you think the appropriate age is to talk to a child about “the birds and the bees”?
I don't think I'm anywhere near figuring that out yet. I don't think it's appropriate to wait until they ask about it, because what if they never do? My mom and I had a discussion about body parts and sex when I was around... 10 or 11, I think? Sometime around there. It felt appropriate and it wasn't awkward. I would imagine I'll probably do the same when/if we have kiddos.

2. What’s the color scheme in your bedroom?
I wish we HAD a color scheme. I wanted it to be brown and jewel tones, and our bedding and curtains reflect that... But we never got any color or decor on the wall so it feels half-finished. With school, I just never got the energy (or money) to follow through. Maybe one day!

3. What kind of shampoo and conditioner do you use on your hair?
I have a tendency towards dandruff, especially in the winter months. I started using Garnier Fructis Intense Clean Anti-Dandruff shampoo and will never try another dandruff shampoo. It's the only thing that's ever worked. I haven't had any problems since I started using it for the past two winter seasons. However, I ran out last week and we had some Herbal Essences Body Envy shampoo and conditioner in our cabinet so I've been using that. I'm not very particular, but once I find something I like I stick with it...

4. And since it’s nearly summer time…do you paint your own toes, go some place for pedicures or not paint your toes at all? What’s your fave toe color?
I prefer to have painted toes, but I hate the upkeep. I can't afford to get my nails done regularly, and I never think to remove paint and paint them when they grow out. So while I love having painted nails, for the most part... My finger and toe nails are naked 95% of the time. When I do paint them, I like to try all kinds of colors. Lighter colors make my skin look a little more tan (surprisingly, to me), but I like dark colors also. The only colors I'm not a big fan of are shades of blue. Blue nails just make me feel like... death? As morbid as that may sound, ha.

5. Repeat question: Summarize your week!

It was a long week leading up to my comprehensive final yesterday. But Braylen had some good news Thursday and I passed my test yesterday, so all the stress was worth it! I also had a job interview at the place I'd really like to work, so that was nice to accomplish. Today I took some progress pictures and that always brightens my mood (well, when you can see changes, anyway, ha).

All in all, a stressful but successful week!