Over the past few days, as I try to ease my way back into posting... I've been brainstorming: What direction do I want to take Unexpected Fortune? I've never had a clear-cut focus to my blog, but somehow, somewhere it shifted... And now I have no idea where it's headed!
It started as a space to write about the highs/lows of grad school and then quickly changed because lezbihonest... Going to grad school is not exactly thrilling... So reading about grad school? Snooze fest!
Please don't hate me for watching Jersey Shore.
So then I started writing about the 17 Day Diet--What we were eating, recipes we liked, setbacks, weigh-in's, etc. That worked for a long time because it's been a struggle for a long time.
Yes, I still struggle with proper nutrition/exercise. But I feel like I'm getting in a routine (Hallelujah!!) finally and can move on to the next thing.
What is the next thing?
I'm sure I will always write about health/wellness, because it will be a huge part of my life for the rest of my life. If I were to be honest, though, my heart and my mind are definitely focused on something else...
All of these goals I've had in the past (i.e. obtaining a Master's degree, losing weight, building muscle, finding a church home, etc.) have all been a means to an end:
For as long as I can remember, being "Mom" is what I have wanted. I want all of it. The pregnancy, delivery, sleepless nights, breastfeeding, moments alone rocking them to sleep, learning lessons the hard way, seeing my parents and in-laws light up meeting their grandchild, seeing my husband become Daddy and all the changes that he will make, watching them take their first steps, say their first words, kissing their boo-boo's to make it all better....
I want it so badly. I think about it daily... often hourly.
So when I open up blogger to write a new post... It's often all I want to write about. And I worry "Will I seem selfish?" "Am I obsessing too much?" "Who wants to hear this?" "I should be thankful for what I have."
And I am thankful. SO thankful. I just know what I was meant to become. Some way, some how... I am meant to be a mother.
And I would like to document my journey to motherhood.
So, for now, I'm going to put those worries aside and use this blog for what it's for..... Me.
To be clear, though... I will talk about all those others things (church, health, exercise, BDR, puppies, etc.) as well. I just feel that this new direction is one worth mentioning.