Thursday, April 5, 2012

Stop Quitting

Breakfast: power cookie (from 17 Day Diet book)
Snack: fruit salad (apple, strawberries, pear, and grapes)
Lunch: green salad w/chicken and poppyseed dressing; roll
Snack: yogurt
Exercise: 60 minute hot yoga class
Dinner: salad w/tomato and fat free raspberry vinaigrette dressing; steamed broccoli

I don't know how/why I let myself forget how good it feels to be on track. I just feel better about myself and the choices I make and it makes feel satisfied at the end of the day when I know I've done well for myself. I don't know how that ever goes away and how I ever justify sliding back into old habits. I love this feeling. I love doing what's right for my body (and, in turn, my mind).

It really scares me that it's so easy to fall back. I started this journey a year and 3 months ago and I can't count how many times I've backslid. I will say that for the first time in my life this is the most consistent I've been with getting back to it, though. Before, once I was out of the habit, I was done. It was right back to cheeseburgers, fries, and ice cream. It still takes me a while to make the realization I need to get back to it, but at least it comes eventually, right? Something somewhere is sticking.

I just wish that I would stick with it and stop stopping. I know you've probably all seen that pin on Pinterest that says "If you're sick of starting over, you have to stop quitting". Story of my dang life. I just wish it was as easy as repinning the pin to my "Health and Wellness" board (along w/countless exercises I will never do).

I guess if it was easy it wouldn't be worth it though, huh?


I don't talk about it as much now as I maybe did in the beginning, but I'm in my last few weeks of graduate school, working towards a Master's in speech-language pathology. Five weeks from Saturday I will be hooded and officially be a Master. I can't believe that I started this blog at the beginning and the end is already here. I have so many mixed feelings about my time at OU Health Sciences Center. On the one hand, I have gone through countless anxiety attacks and cried I don't know how many times over the challenging coursework, stressful clinic situations, and even just the 50 minute drive there and back every day. On the other hand, though, my time in grad school was the first two years of my marriage. I am so lucky to have a partner alongside me for what has been the hardest task I've ever completed (well, almost.. Still have 5 more weeks so there's still time to fail, ha).

It has been so hard to learn how to be a wife, while trying to maintain an acceptable GPA and serve my clients to the best of my abilities. But without BDR I know I would've been much worse off. I look forward to what our lives will be when neither of us are in school... When Bray doesn't have to work night shift anymore (which he has done for the past two years while I've been in school so I didn't have to work... And the whole time taking classes of his own to finish his degree... He's my hero, seriously).

I didn't mean to turn this into another "I love my husband" post. Like, seriously... Didn't see that one coming.

I guess I just do, is all.

And I'm just saying... Things are right. I feel good. I am happy.

A stressful few weeks lie ahead (comprehensive evaluation next week, national test two weeks after that, finals, etc.) but I have faith that God will get me through it. He's brought me this far and I never wouldn't expected how blessed a person could be. How blessed I could be.

I hope, with Easter in just a few days, I can really reflect more on the blessings I've received (that we've all received). I've let myself get so absorbed in school for the past 4 years, I have lessened who I can be as I Christian woman.

I sincerely pray for the next chapter. What May and June will bring to our lives.

Big things are happening... I can feel it.

'Night y'all!

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