Vitamins

Breakfast: yogurt and 1/2 cup granola
Lunch: 1 cup whole wheat pasta with 1/2 cup crushed tomatoes and seasonings; yogurt
Dinner: 1/2 cup brown rice mixed with "stuffing" from The Egg Roll Post
Dessert: Skinny Cow peanut butter and chocolate ice cream sandwich
Exercise: NONE
Calories consumed: 1,104
Calories burned: 0
Total calories for day: 1,104

It's just one of those days that a girl goes through
When I'm angry inside,
Don't wanna take it out on you.
Just one of them things.
Don't take it personal.
I just wanna be all alone
And you think I treat you wrong.
Don't take it personal
Baby, baby, baby, baby, baby.
Don't take it personal.

Yes, Monica... It was definitely one of them days. 

And it's silly because tomorrow is my birthday and my husband is phenomenal and treats me like a queen even when I don't in any way, shape, or form deserve it. But, it truly was one of them days. I woke up in a bad mood. It's been happening with more and more frequency. And I'm finding it harder to disguise it. I know everyone at school sees it and it's embarrassing to me. I have absolutely no reason to be unhappy at all. And I'm not unhappy. When I think about my life and everything in it, I can't help but be reminded of how blessed I am and so incredibly thankful that this is my life. I love it. And yet, I am so cranky most days and have zero excuse for it. 

I need to fix my diet. I need to redirect my addiction. I know this. 

It's so hard. 

But I feel like until I feel good about the direction I am headed in such a pivotal area, I won't feel good about anything else. It sucks and I'm hoping that's not the only way to avoid being crabby 24/7, but for now that's the only thing I can think of. 

I'm not on my period.

I'm not pregnant. 

I'm not depressed.

I'm not mean-hearted.

But something isn't quite right. 

I need to take more vitamins.

The Egg Roll Post

Breakfast: NONE (slept in)
Lunch: 1 cup whole wheat rotini pasta with 1/2 cup Prego veggie delight sauce
Mid-afternoon snack: two homemade egg rolls
Dinner: roast turkey and swiss sandwich and medium curly fries from Arby's
Dessert: NONE
Exercise: 1 hour house cleaning; 1 mile walk; 30 minutes pilates
Calories from food: 1,860
Calories burned: 404
Total calories for the day: 1,456

My uncle and his family are in town this week, and I was fortunate enough to have a lesson in egg roll making today by his beautiful wife (who happens to be from Indonesia)! I wish I would have thought to take pictures, but I didn't so you'll have to bear with my written directions. These egg rolls are absolutely delicious and although not at all healthy (because of the amount of sauce and oil used)... A little bit of treat never hurt anybody, right?

Ingredients:

• 1 lb ground pork
• 1 lb carrots (shredded)
• 10 oz cabbage (shredded, optional)
• 1 onion (finely chopped)
• 1 can water chestnuts (finely chopped)
• 3 tbsp hoisin sauce (Dynasty brand, if available)
• 1/4 cup oyster sauce (Dynasty brand, if available)
• 25-30 egg roll wrappers (Wei-chuan brand, if available)
• Peanut, canola, or vegetable oil

Directions:

• Remove egg roll wrappers from package. Wrap bundle of wrappers with paper towels dampened with cold water. (This will help them defrost and remove easily from each other.) Set wrapped bundles aside to defrost. It will take about 15-20 minutes, so prepare other ingredients as follows:
• Cook onion and ground pork until meat is browned.
• Add carrots, cabbage, water chestnuts, and sauces. 
• Cook all ingredients through until water produced from vegetables is cooked out. Add a sprinkle or two of corn starch, if necessary, to absorb excess moisture.
• Once "stuffing" for egg rolls is finished and wrappers are ready to be separated, remove vegetables from eat and allow time to cool off. While cooling, separate egg roll wrappers. 
• In a single wrapper, place stuffing in center of wrapper, spreading it out diagonally. See picture, cos I know that didn't make any sense.

• Fold bottom corner of wrapper up over stuffing. Press in over stuffing and fold once. 
• Fold right corner of wrapper in over stuffing, then the left corner. 
• Rub egg or egg white wash over the top corner, then continue rolling stuffing. 
• Once all wrappers are used, store any leftover stuffing in freezer or refrigerator. 
• On medium heat, warm oil. (We used peanut, but you can use vegetable or canola.) Oil should cover the bottom of a very large skillet or wok.
• Place egg rolls in oil and cook until golden brown, turning egg rolls often. It does not take long, so do not let them sit in oil! 
• Remove rolls from oil onto plate lined with paper towel. Allow to cool, then enjoy! 

Okay, so I hope those directions made sense, because these things are just delicious! Also, some tips from the chef: Any leftover stuffing can be added to jasmine or white rice to make delicious fried rice. Any leftover wrappers or wrappers that tear and aren't salvageable to use for egg rolls, break into pieces and fry in oil to make chips. The stuffing can be changed in any way to suit your tastes, so be creative! If you have leftover chili or taco meat... You can use this as filling and fry them the same way! Another (healthier) suggestion... These egg rolls can also be baked instead of fried. Place them on a cookie sheet covered in cooking spray, set the oven to 350, and cook until golden brown (10-20 minutes, based on oven differences), flipping over halfway through cook time. Check often to make sure they do not burn. 

Hopefully you'll enjoy these rolls as much as BDR and I do! 

Thanks again, Jane, for teaching me how to make these! 

Behind

Breakfast: yogurt
Lunch: 1 cup whole wheat rotini pasta with 1/2 cup Prego veggie delight sauce; jonagold apple
Dinner: fried rice and various kinds of chicken at China Dream
Dessert: NONE
Exercise: TBA

Well, I'm sorry I've been MIA for a few days. We stayed at my parents' house Sunday night and yesterday was an awfully stressful day so I wasn't feeling up to posting. Suffice it to say, I've had horrible (though tasty) dinners every night since Friday. I'm milking this birthday week for all it's worth. It's an excuse and a bad one, at that... But I'm using it, all the same.

I don't really have much to say. My mind isn't all with me tonight. I really need to clean my house because family is coming over tomorrow and then the party is Saturday. So I apologize for rushing through this post and saying absolutely nothing interesting.

And I also apologize that I haven't been reading posts or commenting lately. I promise I will catch up one day. But it's not happening for me today. =\

BYOC (Bring Your Own Crazy): Late Edition

It's FRIDAY (errrr... Saturday, for me) so that means it's BYOC - Bring Your Own Crazy!  We answer a couple of questions in an effort to get to know each other better and to give our blogging brains a break!  Copy and paste and answer in your own blogs if you'd like!!  ENJOY!!

1.  What’s your favorite room in your house?
Oh man, this is a hard one. I'd have to say it's a tie between my bedroom and my living room. The living room is where the TV and computers are, so Husband and I share a lot of time together lounging on the couches. But my bedroom is definitely up there in the favorites also because our bed is a little slice of heaven. 

2.  Picture question (or describe if you don't have a camera).  Show us a pic of your current favorite earrings!
Honestly, I don't wear earrings anymore. I used to wear them everyday, literally. I took time to decide which pair went with my outfit, and was so good about remembering to put them on. That was when my jewelry box was in the bathroom on the vanity (which, in my opinion, is where it should be). Our bathroom now only has a pedestal sink with zero counter space, so the jewelry box is on top of my dresser, where I never see it when I'm getting ready in the morning. Thus, it never occurs to me to wear them. 

3.  What’s your dress code at work? If you stay at home and went back to work outside the home, what dress code would you prefer?
I quit my job as a hotel guest service representative when I started graduate school. I am a student clinician in the clinic at school, though, where we do have a dress code. Two options: scrubs or business casual. I wore scrubs for my first 8 weeks, but over time the pants shrunk in length and were unbearably short, so they had to get retired and I haven't bought any since. I now wear either business slacks or capris paired with a nice top. 


4.  Summarize your week in real life and in blog land.
In real life: I am doing just fine. Spent the beginning of the week studying for a test on Thursday. Friday one of my best friends came to stay with me for a girls' night. We ate delicious Mexican food and saw Bad Teacher, then stayed up until 4:30AM having a couple drinks and talking. It was amazing. Today was spent recuperating from the lack of sleep last night. I did well this week at weigh in (I lost 2.4 lbs from last week), but I'm having another weekend of eating having bad meals for dinner (this makes three weekends in a row -- yikes!). I'm slowly coming to terms with reality though... Life happens. Weekends happen. 


In blog land: This week I was overwhelmed with several new followers! It made me so incredibly excited to check my dashboard and see new friends linking up. It makes my heart happy that people are reading... And not only that, but I've been getting so many comments lately! I finally realized (I'm a little slow on the intake) how to reply back via email to comments. I don't know why it never dawned on me to hit "reply". Hello, blonde moment. Anyways, welcome to all of you new folks! Thank you so much for stopping by! 

Getting Better

Breakfast: NONE (sleeping)
Lunch: two pieces of whole wheat toast w/butter, Truvia packet, and cinnamon; yogurt
Dinner: 4 pieces cheesy bread and 4 pieces BBQ Hawaiian pizza
Dessert: NONE
Exercise: 30 minutes pilates video


Starting Weight (as of January 2, 2011): 290 lbs
Current Weight (as of June 25, 2011): 235.6 lbs
Total Weight-Loss: 54.4 lbs

It's getting better all the time. 

Graduation Nightmare

This is a true [dreamland] story.

________________________________________________


I'm looking out at the audience from the stage where we're all standing. Somehow other girls from my high school are graduating with me, but this seems normal. They read off honors and achievements for some of the graduates. Then they call for an intermission so we can go and talk with our loved ones before the actual graduation ceremony starts. Many of the girls sigh from annoyance... Wishing they would just get the graduation over with so they could really celebrate. I spot Braylen in the audience with my parents and other family members and beeline through the audience. When I see my dad, he hands me a $100 bill. I shove it in my front right pocket.


Once I get there, it dawns on me that I'm not wearing proper graduation attire. I don't have a robe and sash like everyone else does, and I'm wearing jeans, a dress shirt, and hiking boots covered in mud. So I find somebody that looks like a "backstage worker" and ask were I can get a robe. They point me towards a stack of folded robes. 


Great, I love creases in un-ironed robes. 


But at this point it seems irrelevant. Before I leave, my dad hands me another $100 bill. I shove it in my right front pocket. The stage worker also points me to a rack of dress clothes you can borrow and hands me a dress from a rack that's a size 2X. I grab everything and run to the bathroom, which is also backstage. I take off my clothes to change and then realize I left my bra by the stack of clothes. So I run (without a shirt/bra on) back to the pile of robes and grab it, not caring who sees me... Having just one goal in mind: I. Have. To. Effin'. Graduate.


I glance at the clock. Why are they starting to read names? I still have two minutes left!! 


Fortunately my last name begins with R... So I can just sneak in with plenty of time. 


I step into the dress, pull the straps over my shoulders (really cute dress by the way), and my best friend Jessika begins to zip up the side. It zips easily and I realize I don't even wear a size 2X, but again.. At this point... I don't care what I'm wearing. I thank her, she takes my clothes, and goes to sit out in the audience to watch. 


I realize I forgot to give her my brown camisole, which is still lying on the floor. Then I notice my aunt and uncle are running down the hallway, teasing and laughing at each other. They're not here for my graduation; they're here for a party that they're throwing in another part of the building. I call to them and ask if they can please hold on to my cami while I graduate and give it to my parents later. They take it and continue running down the hall, laughing. 


I turn around, enter the backstage area again, pull my robe over my head, straighten out my wrinkled sash, and begin searching the rows of chairs for my last name. 


I'm saying under my breath over and over again my maiden name. Then I realize that's not right, and I look for my married name. Then I realize no names are being read; no one's sitting in the chairs. 


Graduation is over.


And I missed it. 

Suggestions?

Breakfast: two slices whole wheat toast w/butter, Truvia, and cinnamon; tootie fruity
Mid-morning snack: tootie fruity
Lunch: (modified) Aunt Cat's casserole; red velvet cake yogurt
Dinner: romaine and spinach salad w/grape tomatoes and feta cheese
Dessert: 1 cup Fiber One honey squares cereal with 1/2 cup skim extra milk

I came home today to not one, but two packages that came for me in the mail! Ugh, mail/packages have always made me one very happy girl. Today's surprises were great because they're for my upcoming Christmas-themed birthday party!! I received my dress and some extra decorations! The dress I'm still not sure I'm too broke out about, but hopefully it'll grow on me. The decorations are absolutely adorable and I wish I could show you but, alas, it is a surprise! Very soon you will see!

I'm having trouble deciding what to have as my birthday cake. I could always go the safe (and easy) route of ordering something. But then there's so many cute things I could just do at home. I'm not really sure I want to spend the time (or will have the time it spare) making something here, so I'll probably order something. I usually like an ice cream cake. I might still make a few smaller things at home. For example, we usually have pretzel rods dipped in almond bark and decorated with holiday sprinkles. Of course there's always Christmas cookies, but that sounds like way to much work for this little girl.

What do you suggest? What treats do you all have around Christmastime? Or should I just stick w/the ice cream cake and have them decorate it Christmas-y?

The BC Post

Breakfast: yogurt and granola; two slices of wheat toast w/butter, Truvia, and cinnamon; green tea
Mid-morning snack: tootie fruity
Lunch: two cheese turkey burger patties w/ketchup and pickles
Dinner: (modified) Aunt Cat's casserole
Dessert: NONE
Exercise: NONE =\

I feel like two full posts are enough for one day. But I do have a little remaining angst to share. About a month ago I called into the pharmacy to have my BC prescription refilled. I pressed all the right buttons on the automated system, but I had no more refills so I had to select the option where they contact the physician who prescribed it in order to get it approved. Anyways... A month goes by and I don't hear anything. So I called yesterday to chat about what I can do. The guy says it didn't get approved and he can re-fax the request if I want, but he doubts it will get approved since it didn't last time. So I tell him thanks anyways and go on my merry way about making an appointment with a new gynecologist to get another prescription (I've had problems getting the last one with every single refill). Anyways, appointment made. Then I get a call bright and early this morning saying that my prescription is ready to be picked up at the same pharmacy that said it wouldn't get approved. So... Long story short... I guess I can cancel the appointment I'd made because I'm covered now for (at least) the next three months.

We just got home from picking up the medication and syringe at the pharmacy. I sterilize my arm, the needle, the medication bottle (I don't know what it's called people.. I'm not a nurse)... And just as I stick myself....

Luke decides to get all protective and bark at some unsuspecting animal/person/piece of trash/blade of grass he spots outside the window.

Barked. Loudly.

Granted, the needle was already in and no injuries were sustained... But I nearly clobbered my dog I was so angry. I didn't and all is right with the world. No more possibility of pregnancy for at least three more months. Wahooooooo!!! (for some, anyways)

'Night y'all!

Tootie Fruity

Alright so many of you probably have not heard of tootie fruity. I hadn't heard of it either until I made my way into the Sorrell family (my MIL's side of the family). Tootie fruity, to outsiders, is better know as fruit salad. Easy enough, right? It was coined "tootie fruity" by my husband's late-grandmother, lovingly known as Meanie. I never had the privilege to meet Meanie, most unfortunately. I know she was a phenomenal woman.

Robin, my MIL, made a variation of tootie fruity the other day. It was delicious, remarkable, and entirely simple... So I knew I would be making it myself very soon. She got the idea from Gina's Skinny Recipes at skinnytaste.com. Of course, like any salad... You can vary it to suit your needs. But here's how I did it today.

Sorry, ahead of time, for the poor picture quality. I used Husband's iPhone.

Step One: Get the troops (AKA fruit) ready. I used blueberries, strawberries, peaches, kiwi, and apple, and grapes. You use whatever your precious little heart desires. Amen.

Step Two: Wash blueberries (not pictured) and dump them into bowl. I used 1 pint.

Step Three: Wash red seedless grapes (or whatever grapes you like). 

And dump them into the bowl. I used about 3-4 ish cups. I didn't measure, guys, I'm sorry. I definitely didn't use a whole bag (which I think is a pound?).

Step Four: Peel and slice the kiwi. Then dump it in the bowl. I used three. I might use four next time, cos they're just that tasty.

Step Five: Cheat and use a slicer to slice your apple. I used a jonagold apple.

And, you guessed it.. Dump it in the bowl.

Step Six: Somehow manage to wrangle the pits out of peaches (I used two) and slice them. Note: I probably (definitely) will not use peaches again. Because I hate pitting them that much. Sorry, BDR. Is there a trick to this? If so, please share!

Oh, and dump 'em.

Step Seven: My faaaaavorite part. Strawberries. I just love 'em so much. Anyways. Cut off the ends and wash them. Please. (I'm realizing how bossy I'm being. Please forgive.) Oh, and I used a pound of these, by the way.

Chop 'em up. YUM.

And lovingly place them in the bowl. (Who "dumps" strawberries?.... They are a special fruit and should be treated as such.)

Step Eight: MIX it up! 

Step Nine: This step is what separates this variation of tootie fruity from the rest of the bunch. This is where things get a little racey, a little amped up, a little... extra. 

After scooping fruit into cup/glass/bowl.... Add Sprite. I used Sprite Zero, but let's not get into technicalities. 

See the bubbles? Yes. It's a special thing, those bubbles.
Note: Notice the Christmas tree table cloth? That's as much of a sneak peak into my birthday party decorations as you're gonna get so take it all in!)

Okay, so in real talk... This stuff is delicious and HELLO so easy to make. I mean... Cut fruit, mix, add soda. Really simple. And hey... If you don't like the soda, don't add it in next time! You can't go wrong with plain fruit salad. Oh, and a little birdie (AKA my MIL) told me that it's also good with grape Smirnoff, as well. I will try this ASAP! It sounds too good to be true. 

Oh, and you know what the best part of it all is? I'm figuring I made about ten servings worth. Maybe more, maybe less, depending on how big of a bowl/glass you put it in. Anyways... If you split up the calories this dish makes between ten servings, guess how much one serving is? 

One hundred calories. Even. 100. One hundred! Can you believe it? Yum! 

(Another reason to use Sprite Zero and not something else that would add more calories)

Anyways... Just thought I'd share. It's very tasty as a summer treat. I'm sure it won't last more than a few days in this household. 

What's your favorite summer snack? Do you have a treat that's been passed down in the family? Any special variations to fruit salad? Or suggestions on this one? I'd love to swap recipes!

Who Do I Look Like?

The Little Hen House is hosting a I'm a Celebrity Look-Alike Contest and I've been spending the past half hour looking through all the entries and gasping at how much they actually do look like the celebrities. And then I pouted because no one has ever told me I looked like a celebrity. WHINE. 


So, friends... Who do I look like? Anyone? No one? 

Please? Help? 

Penny for Your Thoughts?

Breakfast: two egg whites, one whole egg w/feta cheese; yogurt
Lunch: chicken and vegetables; apple
Dinner: two cheese turkey burger patties w/ketchup and pickles
Dessert: yogurt
Exercise: NONE (didn't get home and settle down until 8PM and haven't started studying yet)

I apologize, in advance, for how boring my blog will be over the next few days (weeks? months?). My camera, although still fully functioning, now has a bent port where the cord is inserted to transfer pictures. For some reason my memory card has never worked when I directly insert it into the computer so that's not an option. Soooo, for now.. I can take pictures on it just fine, but I have no way to transfer them to the computer until I figure out either how to fix it, how to work around it, or get a new camera. Lovely. I can't seem to have any type of electronic for more than a year before something has to happen.

Yesterday I began decorating the dining room for my upcoming Christmas-themed birthday party. I figure, we decorate the house and tree(s) weeks before actual Christmas day, and I'm trying to emulate all things Christmas for this party... So why not decorate ahead of time? Plus, I imagine it will help me to be less stressed if I start now, rather than all at once right before the party. Pretty sure it's just so I can listen to my Christmas station on Pandora, though, and not feel silly.

Note: I still feel a little silly.


WARNING: I will now talk about womanly things. Men, you have been cautioned.

Last week (on Friday, to be exact) I took a pregnancy test. The birth control I take causes me to not have periods, so that's never been an indicator as for if I'm pregnant or not. Another little zinger is that my BC ran out around the last weekend of May, and since I'm not under my same insurance or doctor anymore since I got married and I ran out of refills... I have no way to get more, at the moment. Anywho... I woke up Friday morning with a single thought: I'm going to take a pregnancy test this morning. I don't know why it came into my head, but I knew that was the morning it needed to happen. I didn't wake up Braylen. I figured that could wait until after the test was finished. So I took it. And I'm not pregnant.

I could write an entire post about the feelings I had after seeing that I am not, in fact, going to have a baby (right now). That actually isn't what this is about. I've gotten several varying reactions from people when I talk about how baby-crazed I am lately. Some have been supportive and understanding. Others... Not so much. I take more offense than I know I have any right to. I'm not sure why it bothers me as much as it does, other than the fact that this is something that I think about each and every single day. It's very close to my heart and my prayers. But that's no excuse for harboring bitterness within myself towards anyone, and for that, I apologize.

No, this post is rather to try to express that I am attempting to see things from your point of view (even if you hesitate to extend the same courtesy). I've been thinking lately that, although I desperately and whole-heartedly desire to create and raise a human being... There are plenty of things I know I will miss. So here we go.


Things I Will Miss About Not Having Children

1. Getting to take naps whenever I want to, for however long I want to. Or rather, getting to take naps, period. Or rather, getting to sleep during normal sleeping hours.
2. Having only my dog to worry about taking care of when we go on trips. 
3. Not being able to recall the smell of a dirty diaper anytime they're mentioned. 
4. Making decisions based on two people: Husband and I.
5. Traveling with my husband. Alone.
6. Eating out with my husband anytime I want. Alone.
7. Cooking the same thing everyday because no one complains that it's too boring.
8. Not having a diaper blowout story to share. (See #3)
9. Watching whatever I want on TV / Listening to whatever I want on the radio without worrying about censoring for tiny ears
10. Money. I will miss money. 

I kept the list to 10, because I know all of you are chomping at the bit to fill me in on the other things I will miss. Please, feel free! I sure don't know everything. I know there's no way to know what being a mom is like until you actually are one. But I am interested to see what you will add to the list. I really am trying to look on the bright side of this Not-Having-A-Baby-Now thing. 

That being said, you have six months... Cos we're going to stop trying to not have a baby around Christmastime. Get your two cents in now! 

'Night y'all!

Eat Your Heart Out, Ronald

Breakfast: NONE (slept in)
Lunch: chicken and vegetable stir-fry
Mid-afternoon snack: Skinny Cow dreamy clusters candy (120 calories of goodness!)
Dinner: 2 cheese turkey burgers w/lettuce, pickles, and ketchup, minus the bun
Dessert: yogurt
Exercise: 1 mile walk

Ronald McDonald didn't steal my heart tonight.

Burger + Cheese

Cheeseburger + Pickles + lettuce

Cheeseburger + Pickles + Lettuce + Ketchup

Yum. 

We may meet again, Ronald. But it won't be today.

'Night y'all!

(BTW, for both cheeseburgers [including toppings] the total number of calories was only 428)

Oklahoma Heat

Oklahoma heat takes you from this:

To this:

In 20 minutes flat. 

Anybody wanna make-out? Cos I'm feelin' real sexy. 

'Night y'all! 

Not Another Father's Day Post

Good dads are awesome. I happen to have an amazing Dad, father-in-law, late-grandpa, and Opa... But I still skipped over about 40% of the posts from this weekend. Sorry if that's rude but, eh, that's just how it is. 

Another great weekend spent at my parents' house!! I ate horrible (and delicious) food, did zero exercise, but laughed a heck of a lot and spent time with family... So I'm gonna chalk it up to a win. I took pictures in my parents' bathroom this morning because pictures taken there are always, somehow, better. 

And then we came home early. Because BDR needed to get some sleep before heading off to work. My MIL stopped by to drop off some mini Christmas trees she's letting me borrow for my birthday party coming up in a couple of weeks. Oh, did I mention? I'm having a Christmas-themed birthday party this year. Because Christmas is my favorite holiday. Winter is my favorite time of year. And because I'm hosting it and paying for it... So I get to do whatever heck I want. Booya.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas, y'all. 

G'night! 

BYOC (Bring Your Own Crazy)

It’s time for BYOC...Bring Your Own Crazy!! We answer some questions in an effort to get to know each other better and to give our blog brains a break. Copy and paste to your own blog and ENJOY!

1. Do you make your bed every day? Tell us about or show us a picture of your bed comforter?
No, we do not make our bed every day. I doubt our bed is made once a week. We (and when I say "we", I mean "I") only make the bed for three reasons: 1) If we're going to have company over who haven't seen our house and will be getting a tour, 2) if it has gotten so wildly out of control that the sheets are tangled and the comforter is falling off the end of the bed (I can't sleep in a messy bed), or 3) after we wash the sheets. 


The first comforter we had for this bed was a wedding gift, and although it was exactly what we registered for and we were so thankful to receive it.. It was from Walmart and fell apart within a month. So we went to Bed, Bath, and Beyond and purchased the one we have now, which I think could withstand a nuclear bomb. It's incredibly warm, and has zero signs of wear/tear on it, even though we have been using it for several months. Our sheets, on the other hand, are not so durable. They, too, were a wedding gift. There were absolutely gorgeous when they were new, but within a couple of days they had developed those little "pills" by our feet from getting caught on our dry ankles or something (TMI?) and it's only gone downhill from there. We need to buy new ones, but we want to get good sheets, to avoid this happening again.. So we need to save up first. 

Old bedding that fell apart.

New(er) bedding <3

2. Johnny Cash or Elvis? Thin crust pizza or deep dish? Coke or Pepsi? Beer or wine or neither?

Hmm.. To be truthful, I listen to neither Johnny Cash nor Elvis, though I like a few songs by both. Neither ever caught my full attention though, if I'm going to be honest. 


Have to have deep dish or hand-tossed. Thin crust is my absolute least favorite. To the point where I'd rather not have pizza than eat thin crust. And that's a serious statement, friends. (You know I'm a food addict, right?)


I'm not a big fan of regular Coke or Pepsi. I'd much rather have Diet Dr. Pepper (my drug of choice). Some movie theaters don't provide Diet DP though, so BDR has turned me on to Diet Coke as an alternative, although it's still not, at all, what I prefer. 


No thanks to beer or wine. I've never been a big fan of either. Make me a mixed drink, though, and I'm right there with you! 

Mmm... Sprite Zero + Watermelon Schnapps = Favorite

3. I recently went through my list of blogs I follow and was at my limit so I unfollowed bloggers who haven’t blogged in at least 6 months. I want to start following some more new blogs. Who’s your fave lately? Funniest? Most inspiring? Can you link them for me??
Well, this could take all day. I'm only going to post a few of them that have stood out to me lately, because I literally could spend all day talking about the blogs I've found in the past 4 months. These are in no particular order (well, I guess they're alphabetical, since I went down my blog list and picked them out, and it happens to be ordered alphabetically): 

1. Chubby McGee is one of my new favorites!! She is a fellow weight-loss blogger and she inspires me each and every day with her encouraging updates and comments. I feel like we are going through this together, as we started our journeys within the same time period, and it's so nice to have that kind of bond. I don't know her name and we are not FB friends (although I would like to be!), but I do feel like we are friends. It's nice to know someone is going through something so pivotal at the same time as you. Good luck and you're doing great, Chubby (or not-so-chubby-anymore) McGee!! 
2. Confessions of a Young Married Woman was one of the first blogs I started reading. She is a fellow redhead and Christian, and her personality, marriage values, parenting beliefs, and sense of humor are a breath of fresh air. I love her updates about her beautiful kiddos and the stories she shares about life with her husband. We have never exchanged comments, and she doesn't know that I exist.. But that's the amazing (and creepy) thing about blogging. She is definitely a blogger I would recommend following. 
3. Enjoying the Small Things. Kelle Hampton is an amazing photographer and blogger who writes about thought-provoking and heart-warming events that happen with her and her two girls (the youngest of which happens to have Down Syndrome and lights up my day with her smiles beaming at me through the screen). She inspires me to be diligent in taking pictures of my children, when that time comes, because the photographs she takes are just priceless. You really should check out her blog! 
4. Girl's Gone Child is written by a mommy of two with two more on the way. It's so fun to see her beautiful pregnant belly growing with each passing week. I'm excited to meet her two new little ones very soon! Aside from being a stunning pregnant mother, she also writes beautiful and often thought-provoking posts that I so look forward to reading. Oh, and she's also hilarious. 
5. The Glamorous Life of a Housewife. Another redheaded blogger I feel I share a bond with (if only because of our hair color). I took note of her blog when I realized she lives in the same state as I do. She has such a cute little family, and I just love her updates. 
6. Thinfluenced. Sarah was the first fellow weight-loss blogger to ever comment on the blog and reach out to form a friendship with me. She kicks so much ass in the gym everyday and (most importantly) in the fight against her 11-year-old son's cancer. I am truly (truly) inspired by you each and every day I read about your progress or Cole's progress, and I thank you so much for being the person and mother to him that you are. You have no idea the amount of lives you have touched and it amazes me each and every day the positive attitude you have about all of the struggles you're faced with. You are inspirational and special and beautiful, Sarah, and don't you ever forget it! 
7. this is me, now is written by my amazing cousin-in-law, Carli. I look forward to every post she writes because they are always either hilarious or thoughtful (sometimes, most times, both). I've so enjoyed getting to know her better through the blog world. You all should definitely head over to follow her blog ASAP! 

Wow, that took longer than I expected.

4. Repeat question: Summarize your week in blog land and in real life.
My week in blog land was pretty boring, I would say. I didn't do so hot on the dieting during the beginning of this week, so my posts were pretty blah. I did get several responses regarding The Salad Post (I hope you enjoyed it, if you tried it!). Five Steps Back and Life With(out) My Best Friend were both pretty hard for me to write, but as usual... I felt better after they were posted. I mentioned using myfitnesspal.com in Day 163 and I have since become obsessed with the site. I absolutely love it. Inside These Walls, posted last night, was an update on the changes we've been making to the house. And that pretty much sums up the week. 


In real life, I had a fairly easy week (as far as school goes). My Friday forum class was cancelled, which meant I only had to go up to school Tuesday and Thursday (Hallelujah!). It was so nice to be able to sleep in on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday!! As I said earlier, I did struggle quite a bit with the diet at the beginning of this week (coming off of the weekend) but I've picked it back up again. Hopefully I don't let myself make those same mistakes this weekend that sabotaged me at the beginning of this week. 


That's all for now! I'll be back later tonight for my regular update! 

Inside These Walls

Breakfast: yogurt
Mid-morning snack: red seedless grapes
Lunch: turkey chili w/o beans; apple
Dinner: spring mix and spinach salad w/grape tomatoes and feta cheese; green tea
Dessert: yogurt
Exercise: NONE

Finally finished putting up curtains. Here's the before/after of the dining room curtain process:

Why would I take a picture of such a messy room?
No idea, but this is what it looked like, pre-curtain.

What it looked like when I bought the wrong sized panel.

What it's looked like for the past few months, pre-sheer panels.

Final product: What it looks like now.

Little closer shot of the sheers on the side windows.

The guest room also was modified a little yesterday:

What it looked like in the beginning. How sad.

What it's looked like for the past few months:
With curtains and new bedding.

What it looks like now: wall hangings, curtains, bedding, and hutch.

Better shot of wall hangings.

Okay, so our house isn't anything fancy and I won't be winning any decorating awards anytime soon, but this slow, leisurely pace of decorating (i.e. we've lived in this house over a year and we're still hanging things on the walls) just suits my style better. I wish that I had the creativity, money, and motivation to do it all at once (or at least do it all in a couple months), but I just don't. Oopsie. Guess I won't be winning Decorating Housewife of the Year, but I can live with that. I'm proud of our little home and how far it's come in the past year. It's not perfect, but it's ours... And there sure is a lot of love inside these walls. 

'Night y'all! 

Day 163

Breakfast: NONE (slept in)
Lunch: turkey chili
Dinner: spring mix and spinach salad w/grape tomatoes and feta cheese
Dessert: yogurt
Exercise: 1 mile walk, cleaning the house, and 15 minutes on Wii Fit

I had a significantly better day today than yesterday. Which isn't surprising, considering I got to sleep in until 1PM and stay in my pajamas all day. That said, I don't have much on the brain to share with you. I cleaned up the house and started brainstorming about my birthday party coming up next month. Aside from my overreacted blowup at BDR this afternoon, I'd say it was a pretty great day. I am definitely going to enjoy not having class/clinic on Mondays and Wednesdays, that's for sure! And since class is cancelled on Friday, tomorrow is my last day of the week!

I also did much better on dieting today. I don't know what happened yesterday, but oh well. I'm doing much better now. I'm going to start keeping up with my foods and exercise via myfitnesspal.com, which I think will be really helpful.

'Night y'all!

Life With(out) My Best Friend

Sometimes I am amazed at what love is. Well, I guess most times. I never knew love could be this deep. This real. This overwhelming. 

The other night, in particular, I was suddenly overwhelmed with the thought of losing Braylen. Or loving someone else if that were to ever happen. The thought, literally, makes my stomach hurt. I know (because he's told me I have to) I would move on, but the thought that I would ever have a need to move on from him breaks my heart. I never knew a love this good could be so painful with the thought of losing it. Maybe this is why people are afraid of love or being loved. It's not the relationship or commitment that's scary, although that's a huge part of it, I'm sure... But the thought of one day losing that relationship or commitment. 

It's unimaginable to me to think of life without BDR, even though I lived nineteen years without knowing him. Every part of my imaginary future involves and revolves around him and our marriage. The thought of removing such a pivotal factor from the picture, frankly, leaves me breathless. 

I hope I never need to find out what living life without him is like. 

Five Steps Back

I don't know where to start.

One step forward, two steps back.

Only this time it was about five steps back.

I feel like shit, just like I knew I would.

And yet, I did it anyway.

Anybody that says you can't be a food addict needs to come visit with me.

I passed by one fast food place on the way home. Actually passed by... Resisted the temptation.

I made it home. Unpacked the groceries I just bought.

Good groceries.. Salad, yogurt, tomatoes, etc.

I called my husband, my best friend, for something to get my mind off of fast food.

He tried.

It didn't help.

My best friend/accountability partner told me about all the great (healthy) meals she ate today.

I told her I was on the verge of giving in.

She tried to help.

It didn't help.

I sat on the couch, not wanting to move because I knew if I did, it would be out the door.

But I did it anyway.

I drove through the torrential rain that came out of no where.

And when I say "came out of no where" I mean, as my intense craving for anything fast food grew, so did the intensity of the storm.

To think God can't control the weather to make a point is silly, in my opinion.

For example, as I pulled into Braum's the rain grew even heavier and suddenly hail dropped like bullets from the sky. As I sat in the parking lot.


I should've pulled away then. 


Instead I though "Hail damage be damned, I need that cheeseburger." 


I ordered the burger and large diet DP. 


Then sheepishly replied "yes" when he asked if I wanted large fries with that. 


I couldn't bring myself to ordered the heath/reese's mix I was craving. 


I could barely speak. 


They handed me the bag of food. 


It felt like holding a bag of garbage. 


I guess that's just about what it is. 


I thought about throwing it in the trash. 


I thought about burning it. 


I thought about finding a random person to give it to. 


And then I smelled the fries. 


I drove home. Sat down on the couch. Squirted the ketchup for the fries. 


And ate every bite. Including the cheese on the wrapper. 






I wish I had a happier ending. 


I wish I could say I was able to listen to my Father and stop myself.


I wish I could say I tried harder. Was stronger. Was better. 


But I didn't. I'm not. And I wasn't. 


I don't know what to say. Where to go from here. 


I guess a positive is that I resisted the temptation to purge (which I've never done, but thought about doing more times than I can count). 






Tomorrow's a new day. 


I wish I could say I'll do better tomorrow. And reality is, I probably will.

I haven't had a craving like tonight's in a long time.

But if that were true, that I could just guarantee I can control myself at all times, then I wouldn't be typing this post at all.

I would be telling you about how I had a great day at clinic and school today.

That my husband and I love each other now more than ever.

That I had absolutely no excuse to need comfort from food today.

That the support of BDR and one of my best friends helped me get past the silly craving I had.

That I longed for a stronger relationship with God than I do with food.

I wish I could say all of that. Especially the last part.

But I can't.



'Night y'all.