Friday, May 18, 2012

Semi-Update and My Tattoo

Well, I'd say my first week post-graduate school was a success. My depression is still... here? But I'm learning to deal with it, in whatever ways I can. I have been journaling every day, which truly has been the thing that's helped the most. Still no word on jobs (as I mentioned in BYOC) but praying about it constantly and I know God will provide what we need for us when we need it. In fact, he already is working hugely in our lives and in relieving our stress: Braylen talked with his boss and they are willing to work with him and his class schedule this summer so he doesn't have to quit his job (yet). It was such a relief to hear that... Thank God! It's so nice that I don't have to settle for the first job that accepts me if I'm not feeling like it's right. Not that anyone has accepted me, so maybe I shouldn't be so choosy.

But enough of that.

Most of our family knows, so I don't feel badly for saying it here now... Braylen and I have decided (unless God has other plans) that once his summer classes are over, we will be selling our house and moving back to my hometown. I didn't want to do that before, because we love the town we're in (in theory, anyway) and like being closer to OKC... But the more we talk/pray about it, the more it feels like the next step for us. We love the town we're in now... But there's nothing here for us. Since I didn't get the job I hoped/prayed for originally, there's just not much here that we don't have back home. We do have a few friends and the YMCA here that we will miss being close to, but our family and a majority of our friends live further south (not to mention, their Y is even bigger than the one here). Of course we will miss the home and the life we built here, but after the struggle we've been having lately and how little there is for us to grow here... It just seems logical to move away and start fresh. We're both very excited about what God has planned for us in the next chapter of our lives.

Speaking of changes... Braylen's new schedule (which won't start for another couple weeks) means he won't be on night shift anymore (can I get a Hallelujah?!?). Nearly our entire marriage has been him working night shifts... We don't even know what it's like to consistently be home at night together on a regular basis. I am so (so so so so so) excited to know what it's like to actually, ya know... Live with my husband. I'm also kind of nervous/anxious, if I'm being entirely honest. I mean... I kinda like sleeping alone sometimes. I kinda like having frequent "me" time. I say that... But I know that despite a transition period (and me getting used to sleeping with someone, besides Leia), I will be so happy to have him home with me.

Reading back over the last few sentences, I can hear some of you saying "If you can't handle not having "me" time and can't handle having frequently interrupted sleep... No way are you ready for a child."

Good thing I don't have one!

Trust that when I do, I will be ready.

But speaking of that... I had my ob/gyn appointment on Friday. I hadn't lost the weight I was supposed to lose by our next appointment, but she didn't even ask. It was kind of anti-climatic, truth be told. I guess I misunderstood what she told me from our first appointment in January. I thought she said I didn't technically have PCOS because the cysts were from not having a period for 2 years (due to birth control) not because of my body doing it to itself due to a syndrome. However, on Friday she did call my condition PCOS but told me it would likely go away once I lost weight (obviously) and got off birth control. So, really, it was pointless to have another appointment, but whatever. Really all she wanted to know was if I had a regular period for the past three months, which I had... But I feel I could've told her that via phone or email, instead of making an appointment, driving 45 minutes out of town, paying the copay, and psyching myself up for what I thought would be a second intravaginal ultrasound. Anyways... It's done. I have a birth control prescription now and am set for a long while.

Wait.. Did you ask for me to tell you about my appointment? Shoot. Sorry. And sorry (Mark) I talked about periods and intravaginal ultrasounds.

Speaking of Mark...

J - C - R - K .... Joe, Claudia, Ryan, and Kaycie (my parents, brother, and I)

My mother and I got the same tattoo when I was 18. We took a special mother/daughter trip to Colorado, where my uncle has a tattoo shop, to get these together. It's very special to me. =] Even though I never see it... 

Anyway, sorry for that dose of random. I thought there was something important in there, but now I'm not so sure. One of these days I'll get my mind sorted out and back to some kind of normal. Until then, hang in there with me, please?

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