The more we think about our decision to start a family sooner rather than later, the more at peace we feel about it. Of course I'm sure everyone always intends not to stress about it and hyper-focus on each month's ovulation/menstruation cycle and then inevitably becomes a crazy person about it. Of course I hope not to drive myself batty over it, but I likely will. Just praying that God gives us peace, an open heart, and a clear mind to respond well to whatever situation we find ourselves in. I know this will likely take time, given my PCOS and inconsistent cycles. But I'm praying I become more and more okay with that. It will give me time to get that much more in shape and that much more healthy to endure pregnancy/childbirth/running around after a toddler! ha.
In other news, our lives are crazy town right now! Bray has been between jobs for a month or so now, which is good because my house stays clean and I usually have meals ready for me. Not to mention our weekends our ours, which is nice. Though, every weekend for the past month and a half has been booked solid. I'm taking off half of our anniversary week to give us time to relax/celebrate/breathe. Hopefully I can recollect my sanity at that point.
Speaking of that week... Our anniversary is the 7th, and on the 11th we walk/jog our first 5k! Then the following weekend on the 18th we run our second 5k. To say I am anxious/apprehensive/freaking out with be an understatement!
I'm using a lot of backslashes today. Forward slashes? Which is which?
It's 9:23 PM and I haven't taken my shoes or coat off from getting home from work/gym over an hour ago. Sigh.... It's time for bed.
'Night y'all!
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
Monday, April 22, 2013
When One Door Closes, Another One Opens
I've waited a long while to make this post, because I wanted to be sure there wasn't bigger news we needed to share.
Last month, there was a two-week period where I felt super nauseous, dizzy, headachey... Missed my period... All the classic symptoms of pregnancy. So I took a pregnancy test, and it was positive!
But then I took another one and it was negative.
So over the two weeks following I took about 6-8 MORE tests, which were all negative.
I'm saying this now, because this month I did have my cycle, so pregnancy is ruled out. Guess my body was just going through something funky at that time? And I guess we just had a wonky preg test. Who knows!
It got us thinking though about when/how we start our family, because for one day we actually thought we were pregnant. Of course we were over the moon excited (at least I was)... But we were also a little disappointed that our trip to Dominican in September would be... different than expected. I didn't want to be pregnant when we went on vacation, so we were somewhat waiting until after we got back to start actively trying to start a family.
Okay, so fast forward to now. Yesterday we found out that we won't be going to Dominican, after all. Which, of course, we're bummed about. But really? I almost feel like this is God's way of telling us "it's time to take this family thing more seriously". Kind of like... It's time to stop putting other things in front of creating a family.
So, get ready for some interesting posts over the next few months and years. Who knows when God will bless us with a child, but we sure are ready and very much looking forward to it... the highs and the lows!
'Night y'all!
Last month, there was a two-week period where I felt super nauseous, dizzy, headachey... Missed my period... All the classic symptoms of pregnancy. So I took a pregnancy test, and it was positive!
But then I took another one and it was negative.
So over the two weeks following I took about 6-8 MORE tests, which were all negative.
I'm saying this now, because this month I did have my cycle, so pregnancy is ruled out. Guess my body was just going through something funky at that time? And I guess we just had a wonky preg test. Who knows!
It got us thinking though about when/how we start our family, because for one day we actually thought we were pregnant. Of course we were over the moon excited (at least I was)... But we were also a little disappointed that our trip to Dominican in September would be... different than expected. I didn't want to be pregnant when we went on vacation, so we were somewhat waiting until after we got back to start actively trying to start a family.
Okay, so fast forward to now. Yesterday we found out that we won't be going to Dominican, after all. Which, of course, we're bummed about. But really? I almost feel like this is God's way of telling us "it's time to take this family thing more seriously". Kind of like... It's time to stop putting other things in front of creating a family.
So, get ready for some interesting posts over the next few months and years. Who knows when God will bless us with a child, but we sure are ready and very much looking forward to it... the highs and the lows!
'Night y'all!
Sunday, March 17, 2013
It's What's on the Inside That Counts
From the beginning of February to now, I've made the following changes:
Body Fat: 41.8% to 35.7%
Fat weight: 113.7 to 96.4
Lean weight: 158.2 to 173.6
Body water: 45.8% to 49.2%
BMI: 43.7 to 43.4
Every one of those numbers is moving in the right direction. My lean weight vs. fat weight has improved, I'm bringing in so much more water, and my percentage of body fat has decreased 6% in 6 weeks!
Yet.... I've only lost 2 lbs on the scale.
Here's what I'm sayin'... The scale is not everything. My body (on the inside) is changing and becoming healthier. And even on the outside... I'm losing inches and my clothes are nearly falling off. If I put all my determination, motivation, and faith onto the scale... I would've given up weeks ago. I really wish other women realized just how much more there is to look for to find "success".
Do I wish that the number on the scale reflected the changes also? Ehhh... Sure.
But I know that if I continue to put in the work and those numbers keep moving in that direction.... It's only a matter of time before the scale reflects it, as well.
I am so excited.
Body Fat: 41.8% to 35.7%
Fat weight: 113.7 to 96.4
Lean weight: 158.2 to 173.6
Body water: 45.8% to 49.2%
BMI: 43.7 to 43.4
Every one of those numbers is moving in the right direction. My lean weight vs. fat weight has improved, I'm bringing in so much more water, and my percentage of body fat has decreased 6% in 6 weeks!
Yet.... I've only lost 2 lbs on the scale.
Here's what I'm sayin'... The scale is not everything. My body (on the inside) is changing and becoming healthier. And even on the outside... I'm losing inches and my clothes are nearly falling off. If I put all my determination, motivation, and faith onto the scale... I would've given up weeks ago. I really wish other women realized just how much more there is to look for to find "success".
Do I wish that the number on the scale reflected the changes also? Ehhh... Sure.
But I know that if I continue to put in the work and those numbers keep moving in that direction.... It's only a matter of time before the scale reflects it, as well.
I am so excited.
Saturday, March 2, 2013
Thank You, Biggest Loser
I think I finally finished my last Biggest Loser round. Yesterday was final weigh-in and I did not place or win... But I feel like I got what I needed from the group, finally.
I've been participating in these groups off and on for two years (can't believe it's been that long!). In the beginning it started off (for me) purely as competition. I was motivated by the idea of winning, and I actually did place third in the first round. I've participated 5 or 6 times since then (I lost count) and haven't placed. I always lose weight and get so much support and encouragement, which is the whole point so that's wonderful. But I think I might be finished. I still intend to participate in a group for support/encouragement, because that is always helpful, but the competition part of it, for me, I think is over.
I used to think that to hold myself accountable for what I eat and how much I exercise, I needed to weigh-in once a week. I do think that having some measurable way to keep track of progress is essential, not only to have accountability, but also to give you a boost of confidence and pride when you're feeling like you're getting nowhere. I think I will start measuring in other ways.
When I started out (again) in January, I had it in my mind that I wanted to lose 100 lbs by September. A lot of people looked at me like I was nuts... 1) because most didn't think I had a hundred to lose and 2) because that's a lot of weight to lose in not a lot of time. I still have that number in the back of my mind, and I'm sure it would be so nice to reach that goal by Sept (when we are supposed to go on our trip to Dominican Republic). But I think now instead of "reaching 100 lbs lost", I want to try to find another goal to reach. I think that one is attainable, but I'm realizing more and more that the achievements I reach off the scale are so much more valuable to me, and what I think, ultimately, will be more sustainable.
I "only" lost 18.5 lbs this round in Biggest Loser, whereas the first round I lost 30.2.
But, given the above list... I refuse to feel poorly about that. I refuse to give in to self-doubt & self-deprecation and sabotage all the progress I've made. My body is healthier than it was 8 weeks ago. My mentality towards food & exercise is healthier than it was 8 weeks ago. So, regardless of what the scale says or that I placed 10th in a weight loss competition... I am doing this. I am the person I want to be. It's already happened. Not 100 lbs from now... Right now. This is the person I hoped to become. I am not the healthiest I could be because of the choices of made in the past and how much extra fat I still have to lose. But I've crossed the wall that's been holding me back all this time.
I am so thankful to Braylen's cousin, Carli (who also happened to win this round of BL!!) for starting the competition two years ago, and I'm so blessed by all the women who've come in and out of the group. It's so inspirational to see their journeys and success stories. I pray that we can all continue to take the steps necessary to achieve health & wellness in the next 8 weeks, and the next, and so on...
I've been participating in these groups off and on for two years (can't believe it's been that long!). In the beginning it started off (for me) purely as competition. I was motivated by the idea of winning, and I actually did place third in the first round. I've participated 5 or 6 times since then (I lost count) and haven't placed. I always lose weight and get so much support and encouragement, which is the whole point so that's wonderful. But I think I might be finished. I still intend to participate in a group for support/encouragement, because that is always helpful, but the competition part of it, for me, I think is over.
I used to think that to hold myself accountable for what I eat and how much I exercise, I needed to weigh-in once a week. I do think that having some measurable way to keep track of progress is essential, not only to have accountability, but also to give you a boost of confidence and pride when you're feeling like you're getting nowhere. I think I will start measuring in other ways.
When I started out (again) in January, I had it in my mind that I wanted to lose 100 lbs by September. A lot of people looked at me like I was nuts... 1) because most didn't think I had a hundred to lose and 2) because that's a lot of weight to lose in not a lot of time. I still have that number in the back of my mind, and I'm sure it would be so nice to reach that goal by Sept (when we are supposed to go on our trip to Dominican Republic). But I think now instead of "reaching 100 lbs lost", I want to try to find another goal to reach. I think that one is attainable, but I'm realizing more and more that the achievements I reach off the scale are so much more valuable to me, and what I think, ultimately, will be more sustainable.
- I have gone to the gym 4-6 times per week for the past 8 weeks.
- I drink 6-9 bottles of water per day.
- No more fast food, though we do eat out and I have a "fun meal" usually once per week.
- I no longer crave Diet DP, though I have one occasionally just to remind myself how little I want it and how bloated it makes me feel.
- I'm looking damn good in my clothes (at least, that's what Husband tells me).
- My flexibility is improving as I stretch at the gym.
- I can jog for 5 minutes straight (though I still feel like death, which hopefully I won't very soon).
- My mile has improved from 15:15 to 13:45 in the past 3 weeks.
- The weights when I lift increase every day.
- I attend 2 classes at the gym and at least 2 personal training sessions each week.
- Our lunches are prepared and frozen over the weekend, so I have no excuse during the week.
- Braylen & I have dinner together at work before the gym every night.
I "only" lost 18.5 lbs this round in Biggest Loser, whereas the first round I lost 30.2.
But, given the above list... I refuse to feel poorly about that. I refuse to give in to self-doubt & self-deprecation and sabotage all the progress I've made. My body is healthier than it was 8 weeks ago. My mentality towards food & exercise is healthier than it was 8 weeks ago. So, regardless of what the scale says or that I placed 10th in a weight loss competition... I am doing this. I am the person I want to be. It's already happened. Not 100 lbs from now... Right now. This is the person I hoped to become. I am not the healthiest I could be because of the choices of made in the past and how much extra fat I still have to lose. But I've crossed the wall that's been holding me back all this time.
I am so thankful to Braylen's cousin, Carli (who also happened to win this round of BL!!) for starting the competition two years ago, and I'm so blessed by all the women who've come in and out of the group. It's so inspirational to see their journeys and success stories. I pray that we can all continue to take the steps necessary to achieve health & wellness in the next 8 weeks, and the next, and so on...
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| January 2013 |
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| February 2013 |
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Whose Blog is it Anyway?
Over the past few days, as I try to ease my way back into posting... I've been brainstorming: What direction do I want to take Unexpected Fortune? I've never had a clear-cut focus to my blog, but somehow, somewhere it shifted... And now I have no idea where it's headed!
It started as a space to write about the highs/lows of grad school and then quickly changed because lezbihonest... Going to grad school is not exactly thrilling... So reading about grad school? Snooze fest!
Please don't hate me for watching Jersey Shore.
So then I started writing about the 17 Day Diet--What we were eating, recipes we liked, setbacks, weigh-in's, etc. That worked for a long time because it's been a struggle for a long time.
Now?
Yes, I still struggle with proper nutrition/exercise. But I feel like I'm getting in a routine (Hallelujah!!) finally and can move on to the next thing.
What is the next thing?
I'm sure I will always write about health/wellness, because it will be a huge part of my life for the rest of my life. If I were to be honest, though, my heart and my mind are definitely focused on something else...
All of these goals I've had in the past (i.e. obtaining a Master's degree, losing weight, building muscle, finding a church home, etc.) have all been a means to an end:
Motherhood.
For as long as I can remember, being "Mom" is what I have wanted. I want all of it. The pregnancy, delivery, sleepless nights, breastfeeding, moments alone rocking them to sleep, learning lessons the hard way, seeing my parents and in-laws light up meeting their grandchild, seeing my husband become Daddy and all the changes that he will make, watching them take their first steps, say their first words, kissing their boo-boo's to make it all better....
I want it so badly. I think about it daily... often hourly.
So when I open up blogger to write a new post... It's often all I want to write about. And I worry "Will I seem selfish?" "Am I obsessing too much?" "Who wants to hear this?" "I should be thankful for what I have."
And I am thankful. SO thankful. I just know what I was meant to become. Some way, some how... I am meant to be a mother.
And I would like to document my journey to motherhood.
So, for now, I'm going to put those worries aside and use this blog for what it's for..... Me.
To be clear, though... I will talk about all those others things (church, health, exercise, BDR, puppies, etc.) as well. I just feel that this new direction is one worth mentioning.
'Night y'all!
It started as a space to write about the highs/lows of grad school and then quickly changed because lezbihonest... Going to grad school is not exactly thrilling... So reading about grad school? Snooze fest!
Please don't hate me for watching Jersey Shore.
So then I started writing about the 17 Day Diet--What we were eating, recipes we liked, setbacks, weigh-in's, etc. That worked for a long time because it's been a struggle for a long time.
Now?
Yes, I still struggle with proper nutrition/exercise. But I feel like I'm getting in a routine (Hallelujah!!) finally and can move on to the next thing.
What is the next thing?
I'm sure I will always write about health/wellness, because it will be a huge part of my life for the rest of my life. If I were to be honest, though, my heart and my mind are definitely focused on something else...
All of these goals I've had in the past (i.e. obtaining a Master's degree, losing weight, building muscle, finding a church home, etc.) have all been a means to an end:
Motherhood.
For as long as I can remember, being "Mom" is what I have wanted. I want all of it. The pregnancy, delivery, sleepless nights, breastfeeding, moments alone rocking them to sleep, learning lessons the hard way, seeing my parents and in-laws light up meeting their grandchild, seeing my husband become Daddy and all the changes that he will make, watching them take their first steps, say their first words, kissing their boo-boo's to make it all better....
I want it so badly. I think about it daily... often hourly.
So when I open up blogger to write a new post... It's often all I want to write about. And I worry "Will I seem selfish?" "Am I obsessing too much?" "Who wants to hear this?" "I should be thankful for what I have."
And I am thankful. SO thankful. I just know what I was meant to become. Some way, some how... I am meant to be a mother.
And I would like to document my journey to motherhood.
So, for now, I'm going to put those worries aside and use this blog for what it's for..... Me.
To be clear, though... I will talk about all those others things (church, health, exercise, BDR, puppies, etc.) as well. I just feel that this new direction is one worth mentioning.
'Night y'all!
Sunday, February 24, 2013
"Driving Slow on Sunday Morning"
Happy Sunday, everyone!
I write this as we get ready to head to church. We haven't been really good about going since the holidays, so we're trying to get back in the habit again.
It's kind of funny, because around the time we stopped going to church was the time we started making good choices for health/exercise. It always makes me wonder... Why is it that not everything can be going well, all at once? Why can't we do really well in one area, without another area falling short?
So we're making a conscious effort to make our spiritual lives be just as much of a priority as our physical well-being. It is, in our minds... But looking at our day to day lives, I'm ashamed to say you wouldn't know it. Occasionally we do well and remember to pray together. And in our hearts, God is number one. But it's so easy to just know and trust in that and not actually build on the relationship. It's like I "check out" on praying, reading devotionals, reading the Word... Because I know Jesus is LORD.... And he knows I know that.... So he knows why I'm not putting time into Him.
Which is just plain ridiculous.
I shouldn't put time into anything else that's not glorifying to Him. And truthfully, the things I'm doing likely are glorifying Him... I just don't regularly take the time to thank Him for it. I need to be better.
I will be better.
_________________________________________________
The crock pot is on and cooking away.... This week's menu:
Pesto Ranch Crock Pot Chicken
Crock Pot Fried Rice
Crock Pot Garlic Lime Chicken
_________________________________________________
I write this as we get ready to head to church. We haven't been really good about going since the holidays, so we're trying to get back in the habit again.
It's kind of funny, because around the time we stopped going to church was the time we started making good choices for health/exercise. It always makes me wonder... Why is it that not everything can be going well, all at once? Why can't we do really well in one area, without another area falling short?
So we're making a conscious effort to make our spiritual lives be just as much of a priority as our physical well-being. It is, in our minds... But looking at our day to day lives, I'm ashamed to say you wouldn't know it. Occasionally we do well and remember to pray together. And in our hearts, God is number one. But it's so easy to just know and trust in that and not actually build on the relationship. It's like I "check out" on praying, reading devotionals, reading the Word... Because I know Jesus is LORD.... And he knows I know that.... So he knows why I'm not putting time into Him.
Which is just plain ridiculous.
I shouldn't put time into anything else that's not glorifying to Him. And truthfully, the things I'm doing likely are glorifying Him... I just don't regularly take the time to thank Him for it. I need to be better.
I will be better.
_________________________________________________
The crock pot is on and cooking away.... This week's menu:
Pesto Ranch Crock Pot Chicken
Crock Pot Fried Rice
Crock Pot Garlic Lime Chicken
_________________________________________________
BDR & I took a walk yesterday to the "falls" in our new town. It feels so good to call this place "home". Love this life we have together!!
Friday, February 22, 2013
Well, This is Awkward...
I never know how to start a blog post when it's been weeks or months since the last time I've written. Do you mention the time away? Do you ignore it? Should I feel guilty or should I not feel guilty?
Who the heck knows...
I haven't written because I've just been laying low for a while. As much as I love and appreciate all of the feedback I get from this blog and from facebook, there are some things I just don't want other people's opinions about. Husband and I have made a LOT of changes lately. Things are just starting to calm down (relatively), and I finally feel like we're developing that new "normal" I've been so looking forward to.
But back to being away for so long and then trying to write a post...
I feel like I need to play catch up and explain what's been happening these last few months. But let's be honest...
Who the heck knows...
I haven't written because I've just been laying low for a while. As much as I love and appreciate all of the feedback I get from this blog and from facebook, there are some things I just don't want other people's opinions about. Husband and I have made a LOT of changes lately. Things are just starting to calm down (relatively), and I finally feel like we're developing that new "normal" I've been so looking forward to.
But back to being away for so long and then trying to write a post...
I feel like I need to play catch up and explain what's been happening these last few months. But let's be honest...
So in a nutshell (because you know how much I love lists):
- I'm still loving my job/coworkers/clients. Like, seriously? It's unbelievable, this company I work for. I wish everyone had this opportunity... I feel ridiculously blessed.
- Our home is still just so perfect for us. We have zero complaints (outside of poor cell/internet reception). I pray that we can stay here forever!
- Husband is still in the process of finding a job/career he loves. We're both just so happy he's not having to do night shifts anymore. It's doing wonders for our relationship!
- We found a church home that we really love and were going regularly for a long while. Since the holidays, we're struggling to get back in the swing of things, but hopefully it'll fall back into place soon.
- I'm finally getting my butt together on the health/exercise front. I see a personal trainer twice a week, which has seriously been so much fun. My trainer is unbelievable and kicks my butt!! I love it!! Total, I work out for an hour 4-5x/week. I've been making tons of crock pot meals each weekend, so we never have an excuse of "not wanting to cook". Since January 4 I've lost 19 lbs. This time around, the weight is not coming off as quickly, and for a while I was worried. But now I see that it is coming off, it's coming off at a healthy/sustainable pace, I'm physically feeling so much better, and I'm just.. happy. It's not easy, but nothing worth having in life usually is.
- Braylen and I are going on a trip to Dominican Republic in September (which is a HUGE motivation on the health/wellness front). After which time, we will start trying to grow our family. This is probably what I'm most excited about and could write 10 posts over, so I'm just going to stop there.
- Last and probably most importantly... The puppies are doing just fine. Luke & Leia love the new house... Big back yard, big windows to bark at the golfers across the street... They love it!
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| Luke in his back yard & Leia on her favorite perch |
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| My sweet baby girl giving sad eyes to me. |
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| Luke cooling off from being outside. |
Obviously the dog obsession hasn't changed (did anyone realistically expect it to?).
Life is fantastic and I have no complaints.
I doubt that I will consistently update, as apparently I suck at this blogging thing. So, just as a warning... My posts will likely always be sporadic and random.
Have a Happy Friday!
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