Milestone

Day 70


Breakfast: eggs and yogurt
Mid-afternoon snack: 1/2 bag of Pretzel M&Ms and red grapes (not at the same time... gross)
Lunch: chicken with mixed vegetables
Dinner: romaine and spinach salad with grape tomatoes
Dessert: Kefir smoothie


Wow... What a day. 


Braylen brought Sonic home this morning for his dinner. Apparently, I wasn't supposed to be awake, so it wouldn't make me feel badly that I can't have Sonic yet. However, I was awake. And it made me very upset. For a number of reasons. 1) I need him to stay strong in this or I don't think I can do it (well, didn't think I could do it... I'll explain in a minute), 2) I was upset he wanted to do it without telling me, and 3) Our cheat days have always been a thing we share together. It's always like a special little celebration time that we get to enjoy with one another. The whole thing was just a lot more devastating than it should have been. 


Then, about an hour ago, I took Braylen his coffee and phone charger that he left at home (have you heard he forgets things a lot?) and was feeling like I wanted to get some Braum's. So I drove my happy little self into town, ready to devour a cheeseburger and fries (Braum's burgers are my absolute favorite). I talked to my "SIL" on the way and told her about this morning and about my mixed feelings on whether or not I should get Braum's or not. 1) I felt like I could eat it and be fine because I've already worked out twice today and am going to do a third later tonight, but 2) We've already had two "cheats" this week, 3) I wasn't sure if I was doing it because I really wanted it or because Braylen had it and I feel like I should get it too (remember the whole "our cheat days are a thing we share together" thing?). 4) It's a cheeseburgerrrrrrr. I want it!


Anyways, she told me something that I think I will keep with me my entire life. She told me something that empowered me to back out of the drive-thru at Braum's, turn around, and go home. 


She said to me "If you don't feel good about it, don't go." 


Duhhhhh, I'm sure that's something every "normal" person just automatically does. However, the area in my brain that decides what foods I consume (SLP girls... what Brodmann number would that be?) is wildly broken. I've never stopped myself from eating foods because I "didn't feel good about it". That's such a strange concept to me, yet it's just cut and dry enough for it to actually work. 


I can't believe that I was able to remove myself from that situation
+. It's never happened to me before. And for that, I am really thankful to you, Jamie. Thank you for being my rock and reminding me what I started this process to accomplish. 

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In other news, as I said in my previous post, I finished hanging curtains today before lunchtime. Then after lunch I took the pooches on a walk. Oh, and I forgot to mention that Husband and I worked out this morning at the college I graduated from. It was nice to get on a treadmill again! 

I'm going to do my dancing later on the Wii and then Wii Fit. 

The pooches are getting along better and better all the time! Here, I have proof:

Luke sharing his bone with Kitty

Pooped pooches watching TV with me

Hi Momma and Daddy! I miss you!
(Kitty told me to tell you that, Anne)

The first dog we've ever had on our bed. It's kinda nice!
(Ignore the sleeping husband!)

All in all.. A really successful day. I feel like I learned a lot about myself and how far I can push myself in this diet. I no longer feel like I need Braylen to succeed in this (even though I really do need his support and understanding). Thanks for all the support you all have given us! It has helped us stay motivated every step of the way! 

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Dear God, thank for you giving me the strength to overcome my temptations tonight. Thank you for putting people in my life to give me courage to do things I never thought I could. Amen.