Friday, January 3, 2014

Pregnancy is so Glamorous

If you had any doubts about whether pregnancy was glamorous, let me clear them up...

  • Stretch marks -- Because we didn't have enough already. 
  • Hemorrhoids -- Because... why not? 
  • Constipation -- Because who really likes pooping?
  • Gas/Bloating -- Because women smell too good most of the time so this evens it out. 
  • Mood swings -- Because we can't be glamorous all the time. 
  • Difficulty sleeping -- Because we're beautiful enough without beauty sleep.
  • Frequent potty trips -- Because everyone around us needs a break from all the awesome we bring to the room. 
  • Sensitive boobs/nipples -- Because they're too fabulous to be bothered anyway. 

"Pregnancy is so glamorous" -- Said no pregnant woman ever buying Preparation H at Walgreens.

On the other hand... My body is forming a human being as I type this, and that's pretty stinkin' awesome. Doesn't get much more incredible than that. All those other things just keep us from being too giddy about being pregnant all the time and annoying everyone around us.

I only aim to annoy you some of the time with my excitement.

Gotta go... It's time for bed. Which means I'll be up in another two hours to pee, go back to sleep, and then wake up every hour after that just for fun.

'Night, y'all!!
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