Baby Fever

I have mentioned a time or two before that I want to have a baby. It's definitely not breaking news for any of my close friends and family. I've known I wanted to be a mommy my entire life. I truly believe that that is what I was made for.

This is probably evident in my obsession with my dog, in lieu of having an actual baby to obsess over.

I DVR the Lifetime show "One Born Every Minute". I watched an episode tonight. It is not uncommon for me to have an overwhelming peak in baby fever while watching these kinds of shows, but I don't normally get emotional.

I don't know if it's a mix of period hormones, the stress of my husband's important career decisions, or me just going bonkers, but I boo-hooed during that show tonight. One of the women had three boys and was pregnant with her fourth. They didn't want to know the sex of their baby until it was born. She had wanted a girl her entire life, and had her daughter's name picked out since she was a teenager. After a somewhat difficult delivery (the epidural didn't work for her) they were blessed with a beautiful little girl, Faith Elisabeth. When she looked at her baby for the first time and found out it was a girl, she started sobbing, and darn if I didn't start crying, too.

I so look forward to the entire process. Good and bad. All of it. Pregnancy, delivery, childhood, teenage years, adolescence, and adult hood.. I want to be there for it all!

It really makes me resent graduate school that much more for making me wait, but I know it's what's best for us (and for our future children). And, when I'm not so deep in my haze of Baby Fever, I do understand that I should cherish these first few years when I have Husband all to myself. I know that the longer we wait, the more prepared and mature we will be once the time comes (although I also understand that no parent is ever truly "prepared").

One of the biggest things I'm looking forward to is watching Braylen be a daddy. I can't imagine a better father for my children, and I know how much he shares this excitement with me. I am certain he will go far beyond even my expectations for him (and they're already extraordinarily high). I am so excited to share that journey with him and so blessed it's him I have to share it with.

Sigh... Couple more years...