I've noticed lately that my life has become a bit of a distraction.
Imagine that I have two lives happening at the same time. The fun, lovey, relaxed one has definitely taken a front burner to the clean, studious, responsible one. It's a tad bit worrisome. (I'm sure for some more than others.. For example, it doesn't bother me a bit, but I'm sure my mother and mother-in-law are cringing... Or will be once an explanation is given).
I absolutely love being home. I get to hang out with my husband and my puppy, watch TV and movies, play Trivial Pursuit (which I stink at, but every once in a while get one right), go visit family, or entertain friends for dinner. I looooooove being at home. It's my favorite. I even like cleaning... Or at least tidying up after a big clean has already taken place... The big clean kinda stinks. Anyways, what I'm saying is... Maybe it's because my physical school is located 50+ minutes away that I find it so easy to forget about it when I'm not actually there. I can probably count on two hands the amount of hours I've spent studying for classes.
*Side Note: Clinic is not included in those hours... I've spent many more hours than I could count in preparation for clinic. The difference is, that's something I actually enjoy preparing for and implementing.
Okay, back to what I was saying. In the past month, my attention span for the afternoon class (I have two in the morning and two in the afternoon every Tuesday and Thursday) has gone from around 50% to about 5% (on a good day). I literally play Spider Solitaire, Freecell, or a random iPhone app during my last two classes EVERY Tuesday and Thursday. What's silly is I'm still making an A in both classes, but I'll write that up to good test-taking skills. It really makes me depressed at times though because I want to be involved in the class, but I just don't have the energy by the time those two roll around. I'm really hoping the scheduling next semester is better for my attention span, but we'll see.
What made me think of this, is that I should probably get started on my homework tonight. But instead I will either clean my house (to rid myself of an excuse to do so later, when studying will be really important) or watch TV. And I have a feeling it's going to end up being the latter. Oops... Thanks DVR, for distracting me from graduate school for the 56,974,847,574,398,030,000th time. Yeah, it's been that many times. I can't even count that high. Which is probably why I'm still in school.
I was the same this semester. Only I was sick and couldn't focus. But normally I still try to push through, this time however, I was in class, but I wasn't in class. I dreaded going and I new that for my grades sake I needed to drop the semester and go back once the morning sickness subsided. Now that it still hasn't I'm thinking I will be putting off another semester. I don't want to be there until I know I will BE there and be present, doing the best I can. Although our situations are completely different I understand where you are coming from. Maybe you will get your spark back soon. :)
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