Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Ur in Trouble

... Get it?

Well, maybe you will.

Have you ever been woken up in the middle of the night by an overwhelming urge to go to the bathroom? This happens to me often because, like the extremely intelligent college-educated person I am, I constantly disregard medical advise to not eat or drink past a certain time. However, instead of getting up and going to the restroom, I often lie in bed thinking about how I can get out of getting up to make the strenuous 10 foot hike to the bathroom.

I would rather:

  1. Purchase a portable potty to conveniently set up next to the bed.
  2. Wet the bed and deal with it later.
  3. Hold it all night and just never go back to sleep and think about more ways to avoid getting up.
  4. Make Braylen go to the bathroom for me.
  5. Make Luke go to the bathroom for me. 
  6. Call my dad and make him go to the bathroom for me (as repayment for all the times I went for him)
  7. Take my pillow and blanket to the bathroom with me so I can keep sleeping.
  8. Move my bathroom to directly next to my side of the bed.
  9. Destroy the bathroom so I have no reason to need one (this one never quite makes sense to me).
  10. Buy sleeping pills so I can sleep through these urges and wait 'til the morning to go. 

And let's not even mention the word "catheter". 

Oops, I just did. Please forgive.

As you can see, I really don't like getting up in the middle of the night for bathroom purposes. I have such a distaste for making these unpleasant journeys because more often than not, once I lie back down after going to the bathroom, it takes me about 30 minutes to get back to sleep. This wouldn't be such a problem if I didn't get up more than once in the night. 

I really need to listen to doctors. 

And I really need to not write blog entries at 3:42 AM. Sorry you just had to read this. But I had to write about it while it was fresh on my mind. I'll wait until later in the day to post so I can edit any type-o's I may have made, so at least you don't have to go through that

But do you get it? 

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