Day 272

Breakfast: yogurt
Snack: heath/reese's mix from Braum's
Lunch: 2 turkey patties w/fat free American slices; mixed vegetables
Snack: banana
Dinner: 6" turkey on wheat w/spinach leaves, lettuce, black olives, and sweet onion sauce from Subway with baked Lay's southwestern ranch chips
Exercise: 1.15 mi walk (30 mins)

Day 269

Breakfast: 4 egg whites w/onion and feta cheese; 2 smoked turkey sausages; yogurt
Lunch: salad w/grilled chicken and a hard-boiled egg; ~10 baby carrots; 1 sliced apple
Exercise: 58 mins Zumba
Snack: yogurt
Exercise: 27 push-ups; 15 sit-ups

Weigh-in's tomorrow and I'm feeling good!

The Take a Look in the Mirror Post

Breakfast: yogurt and red Rome apple
Lunch: 2 turkey patties w/fat free American cheese and sauteed mixed veggies
Snack: ~15 baby carrots
Dinner: chopped Romaine w/chopped pear, dried cranberries, feta cheese, and red wine vinaigrette
Exercise: 1.25mi walk (40mins)
Snack: yogurt

I've really been feeling good lately about the progress I've been making. I hate it when people excessively toot their own horn, but I think sometimes you have to take a minute to appreciate your hard work. It builds up your self-esteem and self-worth and ultimately, I think, gets you to your goal. If you never appreciate where you were and how far you've come, and never allow yourself that satisfaction... I would think it would make it a lot harder to continue on for more progress.

Lately I've been allowing myself more and more to admit to myself when I think I look pretty. It sounds strange and conceded, but don't we all want to feel beautiful? Lately I've been able to look in the mirror and think "Hm. I look gorgeous right now." Even when I have no makeup on and my hair's a mess. That is a revelation.

It has made me come to realize that although we may not love everything we see when we look in the mirror, there are things about each and every one of us that are beautiful. I've decided that from now on I need to keep those attributes at the forefront of my thoughts from now on when I look at myself. My hope is that you can find the things you feel are beautiful about yourself and never forget about them (even when the scale doesn't come out in your favor). I wouldn't ask you to do something I'm not willing to do, so I'm going to share my list with you...

Five Things I Find Beautiful About My Body

1. My hair. Of course this is #1 for me. I've never had to do anything to it and it's always pretty just the way it is. It is the one thing on my body that I can always count on and I've never had any desire to change. Maybe this is an exaggeration, but I am blessed to have my hair. 
2. My proportions. I don't carry all of my weight in one area like so many women unfortunately do. I am overweight and I have lots of extra fat on my body, but it's spread out proportionately so in some ways I don't feel like I look as heavy as I actually am. 
3. My freckles. These are a new treasure I've come to appreciate. For so long I wanted them gone and now I'm finding they can work to my advantage. Blemishes are harder to spot on a freckled face and I feel like they'll keep me looking young for many years to come.
4. My waist. Another new appreciation. I'm growing to love my waist more and more as it's starting to appear underneath all the extra baggage I'd been carrying around. I absolutely love it when my husband hugs me and his arms can squeeze a little tighter. 
5. My thighs. Okay. This one is going to take some time to adjust to. I don't love them all of the time. Let me explain. I have large thighs. I always have. However, as the weight is coming off I'm realizing just how powerful my thighs are. They are much stronger than I ever realized under all that extra stuff. No, they're not up to carrying all my weight around in a marathon or anything... But I can work the heck out of them on a bike machine and really see/feel them getting stronger. Because it's hard to look down and actually see my waist, stomach, or arms getting smaller... I really enjoy looking down at my thighs and seeing them shedding the weight.

Good to see you, waist!

I challenge you to find five things about your body that you think are beautiful. Commit to complimenting yourself on at least one of them per day. See if/how your attitude and self-confidence improves.

Day 267

Breakfast: 4 egg whites w/onion and feta cheese, 3 strips of bacon, and a yogurt
Lunch: salad w/Italian dressing; honeydew melon and grapes; grilled chicken, green beans, and a dinner roll
Snack: ~30 baby carrots
Exercise: 55min Zumba
Dinner: black bean turkey chili

The Thank You Post

Breakfast: 4 egg whites; 1 strip turkey bacon; 1 piece turkey sausage; yogurt
Lunch: salad w/hard boiled egg; honeydew melon and grapes; chocolate milk
Dinner: black bean turkey chili
Dessert: NONE
Exercise: 1.25 mi walk (28mins)

Can I just say how much I love having supportive friends and family? Without a doubt I know I wouldn't be where I am on this weight loss journey without their accountability and understanding. I'm reminded more and more about this every day -- Whether it be by our parents cooking special meals to suit our diets or it be a good friend agreeing to text pictures of our meals each day to keep us accountable -- I have an amazing support system. And that's not even mentioning all the support I get from Braylen. Good grief, he eats anything and everything we've cooked for this diet plan, never complains, and actually likes it! He's never argued or griped about not eating the things we want, and he encourages me when I text him when I'm having a craving. I could go on and on about all of the various ways you all have helped me in the past 9 months, but I'll just sum it up and say... Thank you. From the bottom of my heart, I will never forget all of the words of encouragement, hard truths, and sacrifices you all have made to help me along the way. Thank you so much. I can't wait to get to the end result to show you what all that prayer was for.

Thank you!

Day 265

Breakfast: 4 egg whites w/onion; 3 strips of bacon; yogurt
Snack: golden delicious apple and a banana
Lunch: stir-fried chicken and veggies with 1/2 cup brown rice
Dinner: chopped Romaine w/chopped pear, dried cranberries, feta cheese, and red wine vinaigrette
Dessert: banana ice cream: frozen banana pureed w/1 tbsp honey and 1 tbsp raspberry Kefir
Exercise: TBA

The Onion Post

Breakfast: yogurt and banana
Snack: golden delicious apple
Lunch: 2 turkey patties w/fat free American cheese, corn, and blackeye peas
Dinner: Chinese food (fried rice, various meats, lo mein)
Exercise: 1/4 mi walk, 30 mins pilates, 15 push-ups, 40 arm curls

Since we started this diet, my love for onions has grown exponentially. They add so much amazing flavor to every meal and are so easy to prepare. We put them in everything, from eggs to salads to mixed vegetable stir-fries to pot roast to, well, just sauteed onions as a side dish. I buy a bag of onions every week and we still somehow manage to run out before the next grocery run. It's gotten to the point where the smell of the onions I cut in the morning for my eggs sticks on my hands all day... And the smell comforts me. I know that sounds sick, but I just have grown to love them so much. 

Today I've been thinking about the cliche metaphor of peeling back layers of yourself like peeling off the layers of an onion. I mean, we've all seen Shrek, right? You know what I'm talking about. I'm realizing more and more the symbolism between onions and weight loss. 

Okay, bear with me. This might not be a good post to read if you've never visited my blog before. Cos it's about to get strange. 

Onions are really ugly on the outside. Kind of like how I felt about myself before I started this weight loss journey. Not necessarily that I was ugly... But what I was doing to my body and how I thought about food was just that: Ugly. The outside of an onion is garbage. It needs to be removed so you can utilize the good stuff underneath. It's kind of like a protective layer for what's hiding inside. Almost like how I was using this extra weight as a guard so that I didn't have to deal with why I was gaining weight. Why I was mistreating my body. Why I wasn't living to my full potential. Why I ate uncontrollably, even when I was full. The outside wall I built up was garbage, and I needed to throw it out so I could utilize all the good stuff I have inside.

Little by little that outside layer is coming off. It's not completely gone. I still have lapses in judgment when I forget what my goal is and that layer sticks on a little longer. As the layers fall away, though, and as the weight comes off, I pray that I get to know and love myself that much more. I pray that through the struggles and victories I face over the next months and years of my recovery from this addiction I can pull myself closer to God. I know that it is His strength I have to rely on to pull that layer off completely. Because he knows about all the good stuff I've got hiding underneath and I know He's ready for me to use it.

Here's to pulling off another layer...